Reply turned Journal- Hard Being a Mommy

[preciousfreedom]

wow..I thought I was just really bad at this mommy thing and thats why this is so hard on me.

My daughter drives me nuts sometimes. I just DONT know what to do, after everything has been tried to stop the madness. We currently do timeout, which is like...constantly occuring. I tried the hand smack at a younger age, and she would result to sticking her own hand out to get smacked, kinda in a smart alec way... it just never phased her. ever. I tried 1,2,3....she would try to bite my fingers and laugh...

Timeout is kinda working, but I cant keep her in timeout the entire time we spend together! But...it seems if I was trying to be consistant, SHE WOULD BE IN TIMEOUT ALL THE TIME!! And let me share, the first time I put her in timeout (a suggestion of her papas...) it was a battlefield, and once I stepped foot on those grounds, I couldnt step off...until I won. I cried, and cried and cried...I had to hold her in place, I had to repeatedly put her back into timeout position from the stiff as a board straight body tantrum she was throwing...she would throw her body against the wall, it was just outrageous and so very scary. I could not believe the rampage she was having with me, just because I was attempting to add dicipline to her life. After a good half hour of fighting with her, she gave up. For a minute anyways...and I finally realized that this could work for us.  

Her crying, her fussing, all the time, about every waking little thing from her shoes not working, her stroller not rolling right, her blocks not fitting correctly...she is major extreme about every little thing!  It just never stops. The hitting, the fits, tantrums, screaming, running away from me, and repeating wrong behavior over and over and over again, no matter what I do for weeks at a time to try to stick to one plan with each behavior...it never seems to pay off. Its quit painful, to experience the unknown and have to follow through with something I have yet to do in my life before, and with expectations that I dont know are right or wrong... I see other moms around, and they dont seem overwhelmed, and their children arent running circles around them...so of course I then think I just have no clue what Im doing, because they seem to have it allll together.

Its all very overwhelming. And add no sleep, a ton of household things to do, bills to pay, a job Ive been hating... just staying grateful is the best thing I can do to make this seem to go away. Whether my parenting is working or not, when Im grateful and take a timeout MYSELF to acknowledge that, feel it, and do something with it rather than tend to routine, I go where I need to be in that moment rather than where I was and didnt want to be. Oh what a task. But each time I learn a new lesson, and refresh for round um...2,000.

Each moment is one that I can start a day over again, and when Im at my worst, she tends to be at hers. Start my day over, mid-evening, mentally...her day magically gets better. The house is a mess, and Im not ready for tomorrow, but I did change the course of events. For that moment.

[momofkids]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 8:45 PM

Have you considered going to see a pediatric, behavioral psychologist?  Maybe there is an underlying problem he/she might see?  It sounds like you are doing everything just right as a parent.  Sometimes the psychologist can just do a little tweaking to the system you have in place to get it to be more effective.

We had to do this when my son was around 3.  He was totally out of control.  The psychologist set us up with a whole different behavioral plan.  It was a reward system and it really worked.  We only had to go for one visit.  My son is Autistic, so, I am sure they can help anyone.  We were doing things right.  My son just needed more to understand our expectations.  They helped us put everything together.