Bitchy Women

[lvpenguino]

In my life, I've known a lot of women. My mom is among six daughters. Both of my grandmothers and several great aunts are still living. I have six sisters in law, a mother, a mother in law and countless friends. I even work in an office of all women. It's a small office, and we all come from different backgrounds, so there are some obvious disagreements.

Never in my life, however, have I seen so many mean, pointedly rude and outright bitchy women as I have since I've been on Cafe Mom. I even quit once, then came back because I'm a first time mom that lives two states away from the closest family, so I've gotten some great advice.

In no way do I mean to say that everyone on this site is a bitch. That wouldn't even be close to the truth. In fact, I've met some incredibly bright, supportive and happy women. But more than that I've seen too many times a young mother ask in earnest a question that draws beyond criticism. I've seen women accused of neglect, abuse, stupidity and irresponsibility just for asking a basic question on child care.

I'm torn on whether I should give it up and go it alone. I'd rather be "that mom" that goes to the pediatrician every time she has a question than hear about how my kid will never be healthy or smart because I didn't breast feed, or that vaccinating my beautiful little girl is actually poisoning and killing my baby, or that the carseat I use will cause her to be ripped apart and die. I've been told I shouldn't have even "popped out" a child since I'm letting a daycare raise her.

So here's the skinny. I'm a well-educated woman. I don't get my child rearing information from the Internet. I occasionally turn to seasoned moms for advice because they help me cut corners, like using frozen waffles for a teething baby. That mom is brilliant in my mind. Or hearing about other 9 month olds that don't crawl yet. Yes, I know every baby is different, but that constant worry is somehow eased when another great mom tells me her baby's story.

For all you moms that have taken my questions seriously, offered your support and shared your insight and experience, I thank you. For those of you that have thanked me for my answers and tips, I thank you, too. For those of you here looking for a fight, take a nap, get a massage, do something to make yourself feel better, because it's starting to look like your only outlet is criticizing the decisions of other moms - moms you don't know of kids you don't know. You are not doctors, scientists, researchers or intellects. You are women who are desperately missing the spirit of this site.

[momofkids]

Jun. 18, 2009 at 10:14 PM

Great Post!