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I hate you...
- Jun 23, 2009 at 7:50 AM
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- Comments (12) Total Views (405) Everyone can see this journal post.
Poll
Question: I always believed when I had kids I would never hear them say "I hate you"...and yet, here I am. It is sadly not the first time, nor will it be the last. I try to convince myself that ALL mothers hear it from their children, but is that really true?
Total Votes: 38
I hate you...three little words-only one word exchanged from the phrase I love you. Except hearing one over the over can be the difference from making your heart dance to shattering your very center into a million pieces.
I always swore before I began my career in motherhood that I would never hear those dreaded words escape from a child of mine-never. And here I stood. A storm had brewed out of no where. The low rumbles coming from my child had intensified and we were suddenly in the eye of a cyclone; emotions whirling out of control.
I-hate-you.
She glared right at me-defying me-waiting for me to make a move-hoping her words had hit the mark...they did.
Had I betrayed this girl that I gave life to? Did I mention to her an atrocity I had committed; so unbearable that her only reaction was a feeling of pure hatred? No. Honestly, I can't even tell you how we got to this point. I believe I asked her to clean her room...
I knew deep down that she didn't mean those words; the words that still hung menacing in the air-thick-echoing. I realized she still loved me; maybe not the way she did when she held those starry eyes of innocence that once pledged forever love and devotion, but she loved me. I knew.
I could see her eyes waver a bit, a flicker of guilt and the future apology that would come. She held her ground though. Waiting. Seeing what my next move would be.
I bit my tongue, trying hard not to let the tears form that were already threatening to fall from my eyes. I would not cry-not now at least-not in front of her. I quickly turned before she could see how devastated I was.
Whatever. I replied, trying hard to contain the quiver in my voice that wanted to betray me. Then I softly spoke. I still love you...and I walked away.
Tags: mother, child, i hate you, emotional, words
Comments:
I'm sorry your day started off so badly! I just get the stomping & bellowing here ! Hope everything works out sooner rather than later! HUGS!!
Hate is considered a swear word in our family....
It's something I've never heard from my boys.......and I can't imagine the hurt of hearing it.
I'm sorry....that's a tough pill to swallow. I think you did/said all the right things...I hope she does apologize today.
I have a 33 year old (G) and a 15 year old (B)...neither have ever said that to me (not to my face anyway) :-) I can only imagine how devastated I would be...ouch. ;(
I hope when she does apologize that you let her know you don't want to hear that again...there are many ways in which a child can express themselves...that isn't one....not one that is acceptable (not here anyway, not in this lifetime). Life is way too short...ask her if those are the last words she wants to say to you, ever. What if something happened to you? You know? ;( I'm sorry.
If you don't hear those words, then you aren't mothering effectively . So even though those words hurt, its means you have the power.
And do act surprised and upset when those words are said. Let the child see your emotions.
My kids have all said that to me before. I tell them I love you anyways, then I tell them it's not nice to say.... but they do not get into trouble for it cause I don't mind if they express themselves. It's a fine line there and hard to explain on what I let them say and not say....
I am tearing up now. I remember saying those words to my mother! Ugh the guilt. I dislike the thought of Brylie being old enough and angry enough to say "i hate you" to me but I am sure this is a normal thing, so I will take it like all mothers do, cry and stand strong against it. Here's a hug!!!! >>>> X.
~Emily
I think you remember how badly it hurt me when Adam said those words (and many more hateful ones as well) to me. It's not something that a mother ever wants her child to say to her. :-(
I hope your feeling better friend...
Who knew that being a mother would be so hard!!! Just think of how you couldn't wait for your kids to talk...and now....
Some days are really hard!!
My dd is 17 and we have had some moments.
Keep loving her!!!!
Geez, HATE is a swear in our family, it is one of the ultimate curse words. I hope I don't hear it from any of my children but I probably will.
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