My son is two weeks today

[lilmama.4]

My son is two weeks old today. I miss him so much. I do not regreat the choice I made, but was not expecting it to hurt this much.I knew it was going to hurt, I knew I would need to grieve, and I was hoping I could prepair, but you can't prepair for what you are going to feel.

I am going through so many different feeling, and I know that in time God will heal my hurting heart, but right now I am just so sad. I ride in the car and a song will come on that will make me cry, everything makes me cry.

He is such a amazing child and I am so blessed to be his Birth mother.

His family came in town for the court hearing, and stayed in town all day just to let me hold him all day long. They are so amazing and loving.

Today I got another update and am just so happy. He got to meet some people that had been praying for him for a long long time, before we knew each other. They told his mom to tell me that will will not stop praying for my kids and I .

She also sent me more pictures.I was so happy. I really needed them today. It was just a really hard day. I miss him so much.

I have been writing and working on my slide show, and that helps me a lot. Here is a link to it. I am almost done, but not sure if that is the music I want to use.

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=8e9fe92bff5969b6204025&skin_id=701&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

I really want to talk to someone, another birthmom, but afraid of posting on any of the groups, due to just the judgement that was there before. I know I made the best choice for Christian, and he is going to have a amazing life. And I know that just because this was my choice, it does not mean that it is the best choice for everyone, but just don't need judgement right now.

[shannipoo714]

Jun. 23, 2009 at 10:23 PM

You did make the right choice and gave your baby your  best.  Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.  You are so brave and wonderful. ((HUGS))

[MicMac]

Jun. 24, 2009 at 12:02 AM

That was beautiful, you are a couragious woman and giving in heart and soul.  God bless you.

[SpiritedTigress]

Jun. 24, 2009 at 2:01 PM

Oh my god. I am crying so hard right now. God bless you! You did such an amazing thing!! I dont know how anyone could ever critisize you for that. You are a truely amazing woman.

[mandiemoohoo]

Jun. 24, 2009 at 2:57 PM

You did what YOU thought was best. No one need judge. I think you are amazing and very thoughtful,you put your child 1st.That says it all my dear!

God Bless You Hun!

[turtle07]

Jun. 24, 2009 at 9:34 PM

wow i dont even know what to say about that. the slide show is beautiful

[sunfreezeinmi]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 2:47 AM

http://www.cafemom.com/group/6767/

 

this is a group for birth mothers. maybe it will provide the support you need.

[Lb128f]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 3:49 AM

The slide show is great. I'm sorry you are feeling sad about not having your son with you. I hope you will find some support...it will help. And, maybe even talk with your Doc about how you are feeling. I think it's all pretty natural to feel the way you are feeling though. I'm glad the AP are communicating with you. Good Luck...what you've done is an amazing thing...to offer someone a chance at having a child when they couldn't otherwise...very loving.

[McGregor]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 8:17 AM

  You made the right choice for you and your son.  I can't imagine why anyone would judge negatively on you for what you have done, I think it's one of the hardest things a woman would ever have to do, but also one of the most beautiful.  I will pray for you.

  He's very beautiful too, BTW.

[lilmama.4]

Jun. 29, 2009 at 5:32 PM

Thank you all for the love and support (HUGS)

(Original Poster)