Why am I taking this so hard?! Why am I feeling this way?

[DarciMykell]

I have 4 children and I never thought I would feel this way about my baby turning 1. My husband and I have decided for Sydni to be our last baby. Now that she is almost 1 I cry every time I think about it. I love being pregnant, I love having babies, I love being a mother, and I love breastfeeding. Why am I taking this so hard?! I did NOT get my tubes tied. I did get a mirena IUD so I guess that doesn’t totally close the door but my other kids are each less than 2 years apart. I know we don’t have room for anymore people at our home now. Also we have 3 girls and 1 boy, our boy is adopted, and my husband is the last male in his family to pass on his name…Yes Justus has his last name but not his DNA. I kind of want to keep trying until we get our boy but I know that could give us 10 or more kids still w/out having a boy of our own. I just don’t know how to deal with this. Why am I feeling this way?

[izyandchrismomi]

Jun. 24, 2009 at 9:32 PM

You are not alone, we have not said no more babies; but it is unlikely we will try in the next 2 yrs. Then it will be the last one for us, regardless boy/girl; though I would be willing to keep trying for that ever elusive girl. Noah is still not entirely weaned and I don't really want to quit, but I know it's probably time- it keeps me feeling like he needs me as a baby. We have talked about adopting a girl as a possibilty, if we never have one on our own. But with my feelings of being a stranger in the family that adopted me, I would wonder if she would feel the same. Of course, my feelings probably have a lot to do with my mom and her wanting an exact replica of my older sister....

Here's to us both winning some sort of fortune and being able to have a bigger home and thus able to keep trying til you get your boy and we get our girl.

[Ashersmommee]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 10:56 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. I was really sad when Asher turned one. We didn't know if he'd be our only child so it was really hard for me, but then when he turned 2 it was exciting to see him growing up a little. His 3rd birthday was very exciting. I know I would have been excited for him even if we weren't having Asa. It's amazing to see them becoming their own little people:)  I still say you should keep the option of having another baby down the road open. That way you won't always look at Sydni as your last baby. It'll make every milestone bittersweet if you keep seeing her that way.