A Different Perspective

[KadenTaeasmom]

All of the arguing about breastfeeding on here has been making me think.  Think about how I feel about breastfeeding and nursing in public.  Think about how others feel about it, and trying to figure out why anyone would feel so strongly about it that they need to treat others rudely.  And today, while nursing my son at my in-laws house, something happened that made me smile, yet as I sit here and think about it, it makes me very sad.  Before I tell the story, I should say that I have never gotten a bad comment while nursing my son in public.  I have seldom gotten a bad look.  And thinking back, it has dawned on me that it is not the bad looks I have gotten in public, but the good comments that make me think.

Tonight, my husband's grandmother from hours away came to visit.  She is almost 94 years old.  I love her like she is my own grandmother.  She is such a sweet lady.  She tells me how pretty I am, how beautiful my children are, and how great my family is.  Of course I'm going to like someone who tells me that.  She loves to watch people, and to watch her watch people is amazing.  She watches with a child-like eagerness.  Her eyes light up as the children run past her, and if one gets too close, she snatches them up, gives a kiss, and lets them down to run again.  She observes things as if she is seeing them for the first time.  My daughter saw an airplane, and the two of them watched it together as if there was nothing else going on in the world.  It is truly an amazing thing. 

My youngest son was getting fussy, so I began to nurse him.  I had a blanket over him while I got him situated, so you really couldn't see what was going on.  My husbands grandmother asked if I nursed, not knowing what I was doing, and I told her yes, I was nursing now.  Her eyes lit up, in that child-like fashion, and she craned her neck to watch my son nurse, responding, "oh, I was trying to see."  At the moment, I thought nothing of it.  I just smiled at her, and continued nursing my son. 

It wasn't until I got home, came onto cafemom, and started reading more arguments for and against nursing in public, that it hit me.  This woman, at 94 years old, WANTED to see a nursing child.  She saw the beautiful site of a child being nourished by his mother, no matter that a naked breast was involved.  This woman, being raised in modest times, raising 8 children of her own during the formula revolution, was mesmerized by the site of a nursing child.  And it makes me sad. 

Sad, not because she is old, and doesn't have many years left ahead of her.  But sad because of the years that are behind her.  Of all the things that grandma has lived through, the times growing up where she was taught to be modest, the times raising her children that formula was pushed to help remain modest, the times now, where a breastfeeding mother is still seen as taboo.  And her thoughts are still on the miracle of a mother nourishing her child through the most natural means possible.  She didn't think about the breast that was nourishing the child, just that the child was being nourished by mother.  It makes me sad because she is 94 years old.  It makes me sad to think that it may take 94 years for others to realize that breastfeeding is a beautiful, natural thing.  And while thinking about grandma, I came to realize that many of the comments I have received while nursing in public have been from the older generation.  Old men and women.  A generation that was taught to keep private things kept private.  To keep private body parts covered.  And yet, while nursing my child, they are the generation of people that make it a point to stop by me and say "I am so glad you are doing that.  It's the best thing you can do for your child", and walk away with that child-like twinkle in their eyes.   

[Gaia_Rain]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 11:06 AM

[RanaAurora]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 11:50 AM

That's so awesome. :)
On the rare occasion I do notice that someone is nursing their baby in public, I always try to give them a smile, a thumbs-up, or a "Good for you!"

[SxdUpAngel]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 12:25 PM

Nice way to make me tear up, lol.  Beautifully put and something very interesting to think about. 

[mtnmama111]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 1:03 PM

[evwsquared]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 1:26 PM

I love grandma!

[Kleotide]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 2:17 PM

[MelanieLouise]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 2:44 PM

That was absolutely beautiful!!

[ethans_momma06]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 4:39 PM

Amazing! I wish more people would have that attitude.

[Ooftacat]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 9:02 PM

This is so sweet.  I'm actually crying right now. Thanks for sharing!

[chiclet731]

Jun. 25, 2009 at 9:22 PM

That is beautiful. I'm on the crying train. Thanks to these pregnancy hormones! haha