I recently met someone and I engaged in some private chat with this young woman a little bit ago.  I have reason to believe that she may be a battered wife by simple little things that has been disclosed.

I was married for over three years to a drug addicted wife beating waste of human flesh.  So I know how things go in that life style

I invited this young woman and her child for a day of fun in the sun with my family and I and it was disclosed that if she even went close to water she'd be punished.  After it was disclosed that this young woman's hubby is chatting it up with other women.  Another common action I am familiar with. 

From what I gather all of the people who know her outside of cyberland are exiting her life left and right.  It sounds to me that her DH is alienating her to the degree that she is severing ties with everyone in her life.  Yet another tactic that I am so familiar with.

I know this abusive behavior so very well and I am afraid for this young woman who does have a child .

I told this young woman that I am not submissive and I don't scare easily.  I don't want to do anything that will place her and her child in harms way either. 

I am afraid of the torment she'll endure when her DH comes home from the military.  I know I can't help her is she isn't willing to admit there is a problem.  Just from talking to her I am afraid for her. 

Am I over reacting?  Should I put the breaks on?  After having the PM with this young woman and reading just how upset she is.  There's trouble on her home front and I am worried.

Educated advise is really welcomed.  I am worried for my "new found friend"


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Jun. 25, 2009 at 4:48 PM

You can be there for her, but until she decides she's had enough you really can't do much more.  Sometimes knowing that she has someone to turn to can make a world of difference.

I was fortunate to have a sister who listened to me & talked with me.  She shared something that has always stayed with me...she told me it was my choice.  It was my choice to live like that or my choice to walk away from it...I walked away.

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Jun. 25, 2009 at 4:57 PM

Gram I think this young womans DH has her so afraid, I don't think she realizes that she's got a choice.  Just from chatting with her I get that feeling.  When I invited her to my in laws pool, I could feel her claim up and she said "She'd be punished"

The more I tried to communicate with her the more she bottled up.  I've walked over three years in those shoes....Gram, after talking with her I'm really afraid for her.

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Jun. 26, 2009 at 11:24 PM

I know.  I've been there too.  Be her friend & help her see there is another way.  Talk with her, as my sister did for me.  It will be her choice, but she has to know she has other options.  Hugs!

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Jun. 27, 2009 at 8:02 AM

I'd love to let her know what those options are Gram.  However, I don't know if I'll get the chance.  She's not returned any of my messages.  That really makes me worry.  I did tell her during our chat session that he can only punish her IF SHE allows him to. 

As a former battered wife, if her husband is anything like mine was, I know that she is living in total fear and probably thinks she doesn't have any options.  Regardless of how much people inform her that she does.  It wasn't until my boss together with his boss and a near by neighbor of mine realized the dangers that I had before me and together the three of them rescued me.  I ran like hell and never looked back.

Thank you so much for the hugs.  I'd wish I could share them with this young lady whom I am afraid for.

Many blessings to you Gram and thank you so much for caring and taking the time to reply.  I am most grateful.


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