Raising my child

[pebbleschild]

Do you ever find yourself by yourself whether its in the car, bathroom, or even your closet, just thinking about the things you have in your life, the people who put smiles on your face and the ones who make you want to slap them, but can smile and say life is good, God is good?  I know sometimes when I get to a low point every once in a while, I think about the home I have created for me and mine and then I think to myself it could be so much worse.  I have food, shelter, clothes, transportation and INTERNET...LOL,.  I'm not nowhere near rich, but I am actually comfortable.  I think that is an awesome feeling, but lately I have been up to my head with my daughter.  This girl has turned 5 and all of a sudden the attitude has come out and she's gotten lazy.  But what is so crzy is that she says, mommy, I'm going to do better when we move.  This morning her and her friend were playing in her room and I kept hearing some pounding.  I walk in the room and these two are jumping on the bed.  Standing on top of the headboard and footboard and just jumping.  Now a side of the bed is on the floor.  I can't lift it by myself and daddy is out of town.  The kids didn't even move when I came in the room they knew what was about to happen.  But i was fuming because  I had told them over and over to not jump on the bed. so I called my friend and she said she allows them to jump on the bed at her house.  And I said well they know because I remind them every time that he comes over to not jump on that bed so that isno excuse.  Now the bed is messed up on one side.

My child is starting to smack her lips, stomp and basically just act a damn fool when i tell her to do something and my patience is gone.  Its like she just flipped the script in a day.  So now I'm beating more tale, taking away tv priviledges and time with friends.  Hell I'm almost punishing myself to teach her a lesson because I want her to know that when you are told to do something, you don't talk back to me you don't give me an explanation when I don't ask for one.  You just do what I say.  If you can mess up a room to the point it looks like a storm went thru it, you better believe you will be cleaning it up.  If it takes you all day, then I bet you won't do it again any time soon.  This may sound mean, but I don't deal with disrespect from children at all.  I can't stand the whining and pouting because you don't get your way.  Oh well, I want a million dollars and I don't have it so I have to deal.

It can be something little like  I need you to put on some capri pants and a tshirt, she will say they are not capri's they are jeans. "Little girl just put on the clothes."  She has this habit of trying to correct me...lord help me.  I'm looking at her like who made you the mama?  This hasn't just happened in a couple of days, this has been an accumulation of stuff.  And I deal with it the moment it happens because I don't want it to marinate and she thinks that its ok.  Because if I let her go to someone else's house I don't want her disrespecting or talking back to them.  She can be a wonderful helper, but only when she feels like it.  Not if I tell her to do something.  I thought she was supposed to enjoy helping me around the house until she got to be at least 9 or 10?

We do talk though a lot.  I do stop and listen.  And I talk to her a lot more too.  She's been asking me for a brother or sister, but I'm not ready for one yet.  I'm finally getting us to a good point in our lives and I want to enjoy it before having another child.  I work hard, and I enjoy having my time off with my daughter, but man, she is so much like me it is scary.  Sometimes,  I sit back and have to pray before I react because she is just honest.  If she don't want to do something, she will say, mama I don't want to right now...sometimes I want to laugh at her, but instead I say, I didn't ask if you felt like it, I told you to get up and do it.  This has been going on since June. She has found her voice and is using it.  I'm glad, but this is not the way to do it.  Sorry so long this is my journal...lol