Should I press charges or not... (updated in comments!!!)

[pixiemom78]

A couple of weeks ago my van was broken into, I left my door unlocked so it wasn't hard to get into. The thieves took my CD's and my binders, about $500 worth of stuff. Most of it was stuff I don't listen to anymore so I wasn't awfully upset over losing the CD's. I really felt violated, the fact that some person had rifled through my car was unsettling. The police officer came to the house so I could file the report, he said it was most likely kids. I wrote off the thought of ever recovering anything, until last night.

Brennen woke up crying around 12:30. I got up and stood in the hall outside his room, pausing for a minute to see if he would quiet down on his own. From the hall I could see out the window next to the front door. I could see headlights from a stopped car and shadows of people walking around the car. Then I noticed flashlights shining around. I couldn't see what was going on from that window so I tip-toed into my daughter's room and peeked out her window. There were 5 police cars and several police standing around talking. My neighbor was out talking with them and gestured towards my house. The police shined the flashlight around my house (and I'm sure saw me being nosey peeking out of the window). He started to walk over to my house so I ran to the front door to beat him to the doorbell.

Apparently some kids were caught red-handed breaking into cars in my neighborhood and stealing CD's just a few minutes before. My neighbor happened to be coming home at the time and told the police that my car had been broken into a few weeks ago so they wanted to talk to me. I told them I had filed the report, they wanted to know if I wanted to press charges. I said yes and signed some piece of paper that I didn't read.

Today I'm feeling really torn about filing charges against these kids. I don't know who they are, don't know anything about them. But I do know that kids do stupid things. If I were held accountable for everything I had ever done there would definitely be some jail time involved. We all make really bad choices when we are young. I don't know if the people that caught them are pressing charges or not, I assume so. I would be happy with a written apology and having any items of mine returned or being reimbursed for them. I'm sure the kids probably had the worst night of their lives last night, and if that doesn't make them change their ways how would me pressing charges have any effect?

On the other hand, if I don't press charges and these kids have deadbeat parents (and honestly, what kind of parent lets their teenager run around unchecked after midnight on a Sunday? nothing good they could getting into), this might be the only life lesson they get before they become delinquent adults.

I don't know, I'm really torn about this and the Police Dept. is supposed to be contacting me "shortly".

Please let me know what you think I should do and why!   

[TJSMOM91804]

Jul. 6, 2009 at 3:38 PM

wow, tough one. I agree that a written apology would help but if they get away with this now, what will their future hold? Times have realllllly changed with each generation & it seems like kids these days are getting away with a LOT more than I ever would have back when I was a teenager. Follow your heart & believe in whatever your decision will be. As for me, I think I would have to press charges to make the parents of these kids wake up & keep a tighter rein on their charges.

[Mommy22boys]

Jul. 6, 2009 at 4:59 PM

My question is, how old are these kids?  Are they young teenagers (13-15) or older teens?  If they're young teens, I'd settle fo rthe return or reimbursement of my property and community service.  If they're older I would press charges because the next time they could break into a house.

I've had my purse stolen once and my car broken into once and it's not fun and its scary.  I just wish people would teach their kids better ways to find excitment than from stealing.

[sstepph]

Jul. 6, 2009 at 5:02 PM

Brad's car got broken into maybe 2 years ago and they stole over thousands of dollars of stuff, luckily his parents home insurance covered it since he was still in college, but they tried to find the people that did it and couldn't until a week or so later and his friend said he knew who took the stuff but the cops could never do anything. He wishes he could have pressed charges but they had no evidence I guess.

Me, I would probably do it. They need to learn their lesson and realize they can't do that.

[pixiemom78]

Jul. 6, 2009 at 5:32 PM

I just talked to my neighbor and found out that these kids are only 12!!! I'm so shocked! After the police got there they got scared and spilled their guts about everything. What kind of 12 year old breaks into cars for thrills?!? What kind of parents do these kids have?!? UGH, doesn't make my decision any easier... Maybe I should press charges just to force the parents to deal with their kids...

(Original Poster)

[hp423]

Jul. 9, 2009 at 10:28 AM

Wow, Beth, that's a tough one.  I think you have to press charges--they are minors so there record will be sealed once they turn 18 and they'll be in juvey (if they get any time--maybe it will only be petty larceny and just a big fine or community service).  I think you can tell the judge what you'd like to see (in a letter if you don't have to testify) and he can take it from there.