Please don't take it personally!!

[Bethsunshine]

Alot of you know that I have REALLY been struggling with migraines for the past several months. I've had them for 23 years but for unknown reasons, since last September, they've gotten worse and more frequent, averaging at least one every week, sometimes more. I've been to doctor after doctor, tried everything conventional and unconventional, had tests, made diet changes, and I'm not any better. To say I'm frustrated and discouraged would be an understatement. I'm frustrated because I can't be the wife and mother I need to be; these migraines are literally robbing my life. It's hard to cook, clean, homeschool and be involved in my many church ministries whole-heartedly, when it's all I can do to get out of bed and take a shower somedays. On top of everything else, I think the medication I take to get rid of my migraines is affecting my stomach. I've had alot of heartburn, indigestion, pain and just plain distress the past month. There are very few days that I actually feel like a normal human being. Most days I don't feel like going anywhere or even talking to anyone, on the phone or in person. I'm not trying to be anti-social. Anyone who knows me the least little bit knows that I'm a very outgoing, social person. If you ask me to do something for you, and I say "No", please don't take it personally!! I just can't do everything I want to do, or even need to do sometimes. Please don't ask me to explain why I can't do this or that, just accept that I can't do it and ask someone else. If I can do it, I will. If I can't, I won't. As much as it breaks my heart, I'm considering giving up some of my church ministries until I feel better, but then when I think about doing that I feel guilty.  When I make a commitment to something or someone, I stick with it. So, it's very hard for me not to physically be able to give my all to something that I've committed to do. Right now, my faith is being tested and tried in a big way, and I need alot of encouragement. I'm very thankful for my family, my friends and church family and all the prayers. I really need an extra measure of God's grace to get through the difficult days and not just completely throw in the towel.

[MSugarKane]

Jul. 7, 2009 at 10:32 AM

I had migraines years ago.  I was working with my doctor , changing medications, testing, etc.   Then one day he looked at me and said, stress is your main factor.   What you need to do is decide if its your problem or their problem.   Take care of your problems and let others care for their own problems.  

I went home that day.  Thought about that a lot.   And started to live by that one rule of life he gave me.

I realized then how much I was taking on as others problems and that personally I didn't have that many problems to deal with.   Once I learned to efficiently let the other person (even if it was my child or teen or spouse)  DEAL with their own problems I had less and less migraines.

Its been almost 18 years now and occassionally I get headaches but never a migraine.  

I also learned during that time if I felt a migraine coming on to sit down, close my eyes and relax my facial muscles, neck, and shoulder muscles.    Taking the time to fully say to myself I was fully relaxed before I opened my eyes, every muscle seriously relaxed, then I would open my eyes and take a deep breath.   This did work for me.   I was amaZed at how many muscles are in my face and how many I was squeezing so tightly and I didn't even know it until I sat and thought about it.  No wonder I had migraines!

Good luck.  I hope theyh go away for you. The secret is to catch them before they start  or get going.    They HURT!

[Maddape48854]

Jul. 7, 2009 at 11:29 PM

Hey girl, you need to take care of yourself! I understand not wanting to give up ministries, but what good is it if you already feel guilty about not being able to put 100% into it. you need to get better. Simlify your life as much as possible. Daniel has a letter for Connor, I keep meaning to send it out, but keep forgetting.

[1daughter5sons]

Jul. 15, 2009 at 6:32 PM

Maybe God is wanting you to give up some of your commitments and focus entirely on your health and family. I know most Christians that think they are living for God the best is when they are constantly busy, never taking a breather.  You need a breather. Your body is telling you to slow down. You need to be a momma to your precious children God gave you and a calm, loving wife to your hubby. God tells us to be witnesses, but sometimes we get so busy with "church" duties that we forget to slow down and focus on the important things. Right now, God may be telling you to stop doing everything for everybody else. "Be still and know that I am God".  Maybe you should give up alot of your outside duties. Maybe God has someone else He wants to do them and you have other duties within your home. You need to take it easy and live as unstressful of a life as you possibly can. Don't feel guilty.  This is God's doing and this is what He wants from you right now. Listen to your body and how tired and stressed out it is and think about your family who needs first and foremost.  I had to do this and I'm much better for it. God will bless you still, because you are trusting Him and letting Him work in your life.  Billy Sunday said, " I am a great preacher. I have led many people to the Lord. I have preached at many revivals. I have preached many sermons to other people. God has saved alot of people.  But, one thing I've neglected...and that's my children.  They are not saved and are going to hell." Your child(ren) may be saved, but are you still neglecting them? Are you neglecting your husband? are you neglecting yourself?  I'm not accusing you of anything.  I'm just asking...  Slow down...we don't mind...we know about how hard it is to say "no", and how it feels to be needed.  But you are needed by your children and husband. I will be praying for you!

[1daughter5sons]

Sep. 11, 2009 at 11:32 PM

I have been going to a wellness chiropractor for the past two months. It has helped me immensely with my poor circulation, scoliosis, bad lower back pain and frequent headaches.  As I was doing traction today, I was talking to another lady patient. I asked her what she was coming for. She said she had had horrendously painful migraine headaches for a long time. She had tried drs and meds. Nothing worked. Then her dad who was going to a wellness chiropractor told her she should try it out. After one month, she is 90 % better and still getting more better every day. A wellness chiropractor gradually aligns your spine so you are completely aligned and no more...alot of things that are affecting your body, because your spine is not aligned properly. If you could go to a Back to Basics chiropractor, it would be phoenominal! Chiropractors are not just for car accident victims only. Everyone can benefit from them. You do need to be committed and perseverant. Hope all works out good for you!

[Bethsunshine]

Sep. 12, 2009 at 8:32 AM

I've been going to a chiropractor for a few years, but I've only been going regularly for about a year, and sadly, I haven't noticed improvement!!! I keep going though because it's good for me even if it doesn't help my migraines.

(Original Poster)

[1daughter5sons]

Sep. 18, 2009 at 9:29 PM

What a bummer! What kind of chriopractor are you going to? Mine is a wellness chiropractor. Do they do some kind of traction or something to get you ready to get an adjustment?