Showing gratitude.

[rainfalls]

I can't even count on one hand how many times people tell me how I should be 'grateful' that my parents adopted my son.

Grateful?  Really?  I don't owe my parents one single act of gratitude.  It was their decision to adopt my son.  THEY got the better end of the deal, MY son.  If anything, they should be grateful to me.  But do I ask? No.  All I ask for is for them to take care of my son and show him the love I would each and every single day.  That is enough for me.

Or, you should be grateful you get to be a part of your son's life.

I can't even tell you how many times I've been told this.  It sounds so unnatural to me.  I should be grateful to be a part of MY OWN son's life?

Now- why would you tell somebody that?  Somebody who is obviously suffering a loss.  A loss that she has to be reminded of everytime she speaks with her family, everytime she goes home, everytime her son calls out for his mama but is looking at someone else, everytime she is told what she's missed... and everytime she leaves she is reminded of the feeling of the very day she left the hosptial empty handed.

Do NOT tell me I should be grateful to be a part of my sons life, because I deserve to be a part of his life.  Not only do I deserve to be a part of his life, but I have every god given right to be, and I should be.

"Adoption Loss is the only trauma in the world where the victims are expected by the whole of society to be grateful" - The Reverend Keith C. Griffith, MBE"

I couldn't have said it better myself, but I will no longer be told to be grateful.  I can say that I will never be grateful for losing my chance to mother my own child when the loss was completely unnecessary.

Tags: adoption, birthmother, adoptee, loss, trauma, adoptive mother

Add A Comment

[MrsSanchez]

Jul. 7, 2009 at 9:30 PM

What happened in your life that made it possible for your parents to get your son?  You seem so upset.

[Lb128f]

Jul. 7, 2009 at 10:29 PM

I'm sorry. I hope you haven't given up on regaining custody one day...it is possible!

[stillamom1213]

Jul. 8, 2009 at 1:30 AM

No, You shouldn't be grateful. You were tricked, lied to. I hope and pray that one day, he will understand. This NEVER should have happened. Let me tell you something that I have learned my sister...Good ALWAYS beats evil. You know my story. Well, all those that lied and hurt me, are now gone. You will be okay...this will work out. You are so strong. Just keep on fighting, keep seeing that gorgeous boy and I have to believe it will be okay. Love you !!