apparently everyone needs to be reminded:

[autiemommy2]

There are laws and rules when it comes to driving. Most of it is common sense - or so I thought. But I have encountered my fair share of completely stupid drivers (how did you people pass your driver's test??) and feel the need to remind those of you who can't use common sense what the rules are....

Here we go...

1) Driving is a privilege, not a right. I don't owe you anything. If you are fortunate enough to be able to drive, afford the car, insurance, fuel, maintenance fees - then that's great, but don't, for one second, think that I owe you anything. You should be grateful! You are not better than me b/c you own a Lexus. You paid more, that is your mistake not mine. Having a car that costs more money does not mean you own the road. Keep driving.

2) Turn signals. EVERY vehicle has them. Use them! Slamming on brakes to make at turn 2 seconds before the turn will cause me to rear end you. If you don't want to be inconvenienced, use your turn signals! I cannot read your mind, so don't expect me to know where you are going.

3) Yeild means "slow down". It doesn't mean come to a dead halt. It also doesn't mean race me, cut me off, putting me and my kids in danger as you attempt to control your car b/c you're stupid and accelerated to speed you cannot handle.

4) Pulling out in front of me, driving half a mile, and then turning will eventually lead to me - or someone - kicking your ass for being stupid. Especially if you don't use your turn signal! Ride your bike or walk... you can use the exercise.

5) Lights at intersections are there for your safety, not as challenges. Red means "stop" - not speed up and cause an accident b/c you are in a hurry. Yellow means "slow down" - again, not speed up and cut off others. Green means "go" - not sit at the light b/c you aren't paying attention b/c you are rummaging through your passenger seat for something, gabbing away on your cell phone, or blaring your "music" so loud that I feel like I'm IN your car (or you wake up my sleeping toddler - who can sleep through anything). There are noise ordinance laws... so turn your crappy music down. Concentrate on driving instead of trying to be cool - or whatever you are attempting to achieve.

6) Cell phones are another priviledge, not a right. Don't talk and drive. Don't text and drive. Just freaking drive. If it's that important, pull over to text or talk. If you are in too much of a hurry to pull over, then the conversation is NOT important enough. Hang up.

7) Tailgating is stupid for every reason! Don't tailgate me. I will only slow down, thus making you even more late. If you think riding my bumper will make me go faster, you are wrong. It won't. I'll only slow down. If you want to drive like an idiot, fine, but you are not going to endanger my family. Besides, it's not my fault that you cannot allot yourself enough time to get to your destination. Don't expect a favor from me. I'm trying to get to my destination as well.

8) There is a posted speed limit for a reason. I will go the speed limit, or 5 miles over... but I will not blow through a residential neighborhood at 50 mph b/c you are tailgating. Screw you. If we are on the highway, I will gladly move to the "slow lane" as soon as I get around the car I'm passing... and I will not speed up b/c it's quicker for you. I don't want a speeding ticket. They are costly and I don't like giving my money away. Also, if you speed and get caught, don't act like it's the cop's fault. Don't give him/her a hard time. You were wrong. Suck it up and deal! Next time, slow down and give yourself time to get where you are going. Again, common sense.

9) If there is one lane, don't tailgate me. If there are 2 lanes, use the left lane to pass slower cars. Don't race past them in the right lane. It's illegal. If there are more than 2 lanes, use your noodle!!! Fastest cars to the left, slowest/exiting cars to the far right, middle lane(s) for those in between speeds and passing.

10) Truckers cannot stop those big trucks like you can stop your car. Don't cut them off. They are bigger, need more room, and do tons more damage to your little car and you. Same applies to school buses. Motorcycles are not cars. They see you, but you have to be MORE aware of them. They also cannot stop like you can. And I'm quite sure you don't want someone on a motorcycle to have to lay down their bike b/c you didn't use your turn signal, or check your mirrors, or wouldn't get off your damn cell phone. You have mirrors - use those too! Also, motorcycles cost as much as cars... some times more.

11) Speaking of mirrors, please remember there are "blind spots"... part of driving is actually turn around to make sure no one is in your blind spot. Use your mirrors, but don't assume they show you the entire picture... and don't think that you have all the room in the world. If you can't see the tires of the other vehicle, don't try to merge! Turn your head and check to make sure!

12) Road rage... we all have it. I know I do. But don't try to run me off the road! Are you freaking crazy! Be pissed, say your choice words and then move on. Just know that if you cut me off, I will be pissed and call you a jackass. But when you start telling me I'm a bitch and give me the finger, you are quickly setting yourself up for failure. Not only are you no longer paying attention to the road, I will call the highway patrol to let them know you are endangering me/my family, others, and yourself with reckless driving. I will not let your road rage and pure stupidity endanger my children's lives.

13) Along with yeild signs, stop signs have meaning as well. They mean "stop". They don't mean yield or ignore and blow through. It applies heavily to where there are pedistrians. Don't think you can speed through at 40 mph and then get mad at the person in the crosswalk! Slow down. It won't kill you. I promise. And if you pull up to a 4 way stop at the same time as someone else, be polite and let them go first. Again, it won't kill you. Promise.

14) As a side note, if you have a bumper sticker that reads "Choose Civility" but drive like a maniac, I reserve the right to completely make fun of you! That's the most ironic thing ever!!! It doesn't mean that everyone is nice to you while you are King Asshole to everyone else. It's not a free pass in life. It's a freaking bumper sticker! Get over yourself!!

15) Lastly, to those of you morons who ride my ass for 2 miles, speed pass me - wasting YOUR fuel - while cussing me out for doing the speed limit, only to arrive at the same red light 20 feet away... you're an idiot and I will call you a jackass also. Slow down and breathe. Reckless driving will only get you to the hospital a lot sooner than you ever wanted to go.

So there are a few simple reminders... feel free to read daily before you get in your car to your head off on your journey. I'm sure there are others that I have forgotten... these are the ones I encounter ever time I drive. Feel free to add your own.