Bad Behavior

[EnnJnn2003]

 

SO let me start off by saying I have three children.  My eldest is MacKenzie, and she is 3 1/2.  My middle child is Izzic, and he is 1 years old.  And then there is my newest child.  Her name is Kaleigh, and she is 6 weeks old.  NOw here is our dilema.  My oldest had hard time as an infant.  She was hospitalized with a kidney malfunction at 6 months old for about a month, and then when she was a year old her talking came to a complete stop.  Only to come and find out that she had wax impaction, and that there was nothing we could do to prevent it from happening.  So she went under anastisia multiple time to correct both her conditions.  So with that being said, the doctors told me it put it a delay on her mental growth.  So when he had our son, Izzic last year, we expect some regression from her.  Because she had the mentality of a 1 1/2 year old instead of a 2 1/2 year old.  She started to climb in his crib, and cry like she was an infant, but then she got over it.  But now here we are another year later with the same issues, but more agressive than the last.  She is horrilely mean to Izzic.  She pushes, hits, and screams at him all day long.  There is hasn't been a good day with her since Kaliegh was born.  She is back to climbing into Izzic's crib, and now she's starting hitting herself, and banging her head on the wall till we tell her stop, and even then it doesn't always stop.  Now we just don't know what to do with her any more.  We are at our wits end with all the crap.  We've tryed every kind of punishment.  We've tryed to stick in her room for a few minutes of quiet time to calm herself down, but she would sit in there and destroy anything she could.  SO then we tried to put her in a time out chair, and she would just sit there and scream, trow herself around, and get out, so that didn't work.  Then we tried redirection form all the bad behavior, but she didn't ever fall for any of those tricks.  So then we tried to reward her for all the good things she would do.  We would praise her for the good deed, or give a special treat after her meal, anything really.  But it didn't work either.  SO then we went to the last resort of spanking.  But that just fueled her anger.  Every time we would spank her, she would go over and take it out on Izzic.  The thing is though, she is not this way with Kaleigh at all.  Infact, she is very protective over her and all her stuff.  So I don't if it's just that she's a girl or what, but I need some advice on this, and I need it fast.  Please, someone help!