Not a trip to the Cracker Barrel -or- Changing Birth

[asaffell]

I understand the adage that things often get worse before they get better. I get it. No. Really. Totally get it.

But when it comes to birth in our country, how much worse can it get? We're looking at hospitals with 50%+ c-section rates (Florida, I am looking at you), doctors who believe that sectioning every woman is helpful and will ultimately be our birthing reality, and women who just don't want to understand.

I also get how scary it is to begin this journey. It's humbling. It's mortifying. It's completely guilt-ridden. You'll feel confused. Angry, Sad, Angry again. Disappointed. And then that damn anger will probably come back again, pesky bugger.

Suddenly, you'll get it. That "a-ha!" moment. The lightbulb over the head ordeal from cartoons. Maybe birth doesn't need to be constantly coddled and managed and poked and prodded. Maybe obstetricians, though well-meaning, took the wrong way at that fork in the road between helpful technology and abuse of it. Maybe, just maybe, I can be more responsible for the birth of my child. It could be possible that what I eat changes the course of my pregnancy. It could be possible that the wisdom of my body and my baby working in tandem trumps 8 years of college. It could, and this is just  a possibility, be possible that I can actually change the perception of birth in my small circle by changing the way I birth in general.

It's a journey. That's not just some hippie crap we dig out to make you guys feel sentimental. It's also not a cushioned, comfortable, 5-star hotel journey with frequent stops at the Cracker Barrel for pee breaks and biscuits. It's work, soul-searching, tears. Pure dirty fingernails work. You have to pull off each layer - starting with your own birthing choices and birth perceptions.

I know that things can change. I have to at least remain hopeful in that regard. Otherwise, I negate my work and emotional investment. My future plans would be dumb if I didn't have faith that it can be changed.

I guess the main point I'm getting at is that it takes an individual effort more than the concerted efforts of the lobbying we're up against. It takes one mama, willing to buck the system, willing to walk with her dollars and the safety of her children, willing to make a CHOICE to birth better. Birth safer. Birth smarter. To look at the evidence and understand that control is in her hands. That she can view birth as something beyond this media hype of pain and danger. That she can get past the stories we pass down of who "ripped more". That she can wake up in the morning, place a hand on her belly, and realize what a magnificent event it truly is.

I find it hard on these nights, reading about our abysmal state of birth, to retain the knowledge that birth is often so emotionally charged and personal that it takes a while for some to question and choose. Or that some never will. But I remind myself that my hope isn't in the masses. It's just one mom. One mom and one baby and one birth that will change the course of their lives and spread like a wildfire.

[nycte]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 5:14 AM

*blinka and looks around innocently* Yep I am from Florida, Honestly all 3 of my Csections were needed, First one was for footling breach with a high potential for cord prolapse based on position in US. The second one my son was in distress with heart rate and breathing issues inside the womb. That led to breathing problems outside of the womb.  I strongly feel that we made the right decision. He was so bad that they would not let me do more than pet his arm for fear.

This last Csection well I had already had 2 csections and I was carrying twins. I was high risk with gestational diabeties thrown on top of that.Then we were not getting good us and stress test results back. It looked like my son was in distress. Not to mention scar tissue out the wazoo from the first two. Yeah I was all about the Csection at this point. In such a scary delivery I had one thing going for me, I knew what was going to happen and I knew my babies would be safe. Nothing else mattered,.

[MamaToLucas]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 10:18 AM

Hear, hear, Ashley!

[jeremysmom04]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 9:14 PM

Great post Ashley!