He's not heavy, he's my mother.

[ErikaRobin]

We all know how frowned upon it is to catch a dude here on CM chatting it up as a woman, yes?  Yes.  We tend to freak out in the worst way and report the profile as soon as it's discovered. 

*delete pervy stalker man who wants to learn what makes us tick*

I realize it's the lying about who they are that makes it so unbearable for a man to be found roaming the CM halls.  If a man was to be honest about who he was and why he was here, wouldn't that be more acceptable?

We have lesbian couples on here that are raising children together, so obviously both parents are considered Mommy and, having all the right plumbing to honestly gain access to CafeMom, we don't say boo about it.   If you've got a vagina, it's all good. 

But...

As someone who supports gay marriage, I wondered today, what would happen to the CM dynamic if homosexual men in loving families, raising children were to be involved in our community.    

I'm sure there are some websites that are specifically meant for gay couples, male or female, and particularly those with children, but does that mean that they have to be excluded from CM and the unlimited knowledge that some of these groups provide?  There are so many things I've learned about myself and about motherhood since I've been CM member!   It seems unfair that these gentlemen should not be privy to the same information and camaraderie that we share. 

Would you welcome a man into the CM world, knowing full-well that he was a man and that he was here for the purpose of bettering himself as a parent?  

What about heterosexual men who are rocking the Mr. Mom role then?   Hm??

 

 

[ivansmom07]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 12:52 PM

Careful, now.

You're making us THINK.  Not good on a Friday morning.

[BigMommaJesca]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 12:53 PM

I'd have to say no.  If we open it to just gay men, or just men who stay at home with the kids, or just men who ______, then it could be considered discrimination to not let in other men.  As it is, it's a site for moms, not for "parents."  And a "Mr. Mom" is nothing more than a really good dad.

There are very good reasons why I enjoy the manlessness of this site.  My husband tried to join once (he told me about it later), because he envied the social stimulation I got here, but got kicked out because he couldn't be around so many women without getting pervy.  Men are just like that.  I'd rather keep them all out, just to keep it simple.

[aurorabunny]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 12:55 PM

BRAIN PAIN BRAIN PAIN OWW!

Okay sorry.  Honestly yes, I think I would.  That was a great question.  I'm sure there are a lot of men out there that DO have to play the sole role of "mom" and they need help too.

[jramsaran]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 12:56 PM i know some gay men that have invaluable insight on clothes and makeup and child rearing...i would welcome them any day.

i also believe there is space here for Mr. Mom's that have the same questions as any of us would have and might possibly need a space to ask questions. perhaps a "guest" page for those that fall into that category? it would allow legit men who would like the access...

of course we will always have the "stalkers" though

[Fistandantalus]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 12:59 PM

I'd be fine with it if the guy was honest, yes.  The guy I happened to bust today wasn't honest (he had questions about his cervical mucous).  I think if a father made it clear on his page and chose a screen name that indicated his maleness and kept things focused on parenting, it would be fine just fine. 

[ErikaRobin]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 1:01 PM

I can see your point, Jess, but actually I think that the only difference it would make to CM as a whole would be the number of private and application only groups would increase.  Why can't men learn the same things we have about milkbanks, carseats, vaccines, attatched parenting (and so the list goes) here in some public groups?  There's still the Report This Reply button. 

(Original Poster)

[Fistandantalus]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 1:03 PM

I'd be fine with it if the guy was honest, yes.  The guy I happened to bust today wasn't honest (he had questions about his cervical mucous).  I think if a father made it clear on his page and chose a screen name that indicated his maleness and kept things focused on parenting, it would be fine just fine. 

That's what I was thinking too.  It's the lying we can't live with.  No one wants to feel taken advantage of, but we're all open to helping so many people, you know?   You made me think of this, darn you!  Now it won't get out of my head!!   Some Friday this is turning out to be.  I'm making everyone THINK.   Heh heh.

(Original Poster)

[geminilove]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 1:04 PM

I find it interesting that, as women, we scream and whine about men wanting to join something that is "women only" and exclude them on the basis of their gender, when we fought for so long (and still do!) to be included in things due to ours?

We cannot have it both ways. Either gender is NOT an issue or it is.

[Gaia_Rain]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 1:14 PM

As long as he was hot, I'd let him in.

[MythicMMM]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 1:33 PM

I always figured there were already XY chromosomes on here any way considering there are transvestites and transsexuals out there in the world that I image are parents and that would make them moms.

I'm not sure if I would like men in general on the boards though because of the sex aspect of it. Myspace has parenting groups for people to join any way, so there is already a niche for them out there.