my depression

[bananaapplepie]

so yeah... im really depressed and not sure how to handle it right now... i feel so blah and like freaking life really freaking blows....

things making me down:

* burger (lizzis dad): him and his gf are having a baby around the end of this month....

*donnie (a way long-time friend): leaves for basic training today, and his gf is preggo too due in early december, and i think im developing feelings for him but maybe im just sad he is leaving :(

*steve (lizzis godfather): doesnt have a job but yet still has oodles of spending money, loads of friends who want to hang out 24/7

*sheldon (my most favoritist penpal): usually can cheer me up no matter what, but made things worse today when i read his letter....

*my body (all 5ft 3inches and 206 pounds of it): why cant i be good looking? i have pudge in all the wrong spots, cant ever find clothes that fit anywhere NEAR decent, my screwed up teeth, stupid ugly body i hate it

*My mind: doesnt ever know the right thing to say about anything, always is somewhere else like lala land, picks out all the wrong ppl to like, god i hate my mind...

*babies: dont get me wrong, i love babies... its just fight now i hate them i want another so freaking bad but its never gonna happen... what normal guy would even want to come near me anymore? im so freaking hideous and disgusting....

*work: i feel like my co-workers are trying to screw me over now that i have a promotion...

*moving: yeppers, moving again adn im the only one doing anything... got to love it...

*home: in general, i almost always hate where i live, normally cuz of my moms OCD...

life: my life just really blows... im a shitty mom, a bad daughter, a crappy friend, and the guys i like are always WAY outta my league, or their gf's could kill me.... not to mention i get jealous as hell and will never amount to ANYTHING ever...

 

so all in all, i hate me....  i wish i could change but thats never probley gonna happen...

[bananaapplepie]

Jul. 10, 2009 at 8:04 PM

haha did i mention i havent gonnten out of my work clothes yet?

oh and that i have my period which definantly isnt helping the problems...

(Original Poster)

[mazomama]

Jul. 11, 2009 at 8:56 AM

I hate feeling this way, i was in a rut for a long time..... of course i had different problems for i am a different person BUT the good news is that  you have a little person to care for there for they will make you more stronger just by being there mother. Look at life from the perspective of needing to be here to provide for your child. You can not have a happy baby with out a happy mama. Have you thought about taking any thing to help with your depression? If not medication (which may help) you may also try something natural, i know st. johns wort ( an herb) is supposed to help with emotional balance. If you would like to chit chat or any thing you can pm me......chin up my dear!

[momo3monsters]

Aug. 17, 2009 at 1:14 PM

Hang in there chic!!!!!!! I k now its hard, I have been there done that iand in some ways still there. Just keep saying to yourself this too shall pass. It sometimes works for me....... message me if you ever need to talk!!!!