It's funny how when you reach out to people, they turn their backs on you. Even when you reach out to other victims, survivors or supposed-friends. I've been bashed, degraded, stalked, harassed and attacked almost everywhere I go. All because I was stupid enough to reach out, share my story and try to find support and advice.
I have no where to go, no one to turn to. I am alone. I have learned my lesson though, I need to keep to myself. It's better to bottle my feelings and thoughts up inside than to suffer the degradations others will put me through, I can't read people as well as I thought I could. I once believed that an offer of friendship and support was genuine, now I know better.
So, where do I go? Who do I turn to? No where and no one. I am alone.
I will suffer in silence. I will cry in silence, I will remember in silence. I will fight in silence. I will survive in silence. I will hide from the world, put on a smile and pretend that nothing is wrong, keep my memories and feelings and thoughts locked away inside where they can not hurt me by turning others on me repeatedly.
I can depend on no one. I can rely on no one. I can trust no one.
I am alone.