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Killjoy?
- Jul 13, 2009 at 2:55 AM
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- Comments (2) Total Views (50) Everyone can see this journal post.
Should I feel bad about this?
The other day hubby, dd and I went out to eat with his parents. The topic of going to Jackpot for a week-end came up. Jackpot is a small gambling city nearby... like a mini Vegas I guess. I've never been there. He had mentioned that he would like to take me and go with his mom and step-father and let his aunt take care of our daughter while we were gone.
You know... I don't mind get-aways, I really don't... but I have a few problems with this.
1) I HATE gambling. Never liked it, does not hold any interest for me. I went to the 'after prom' when I was in high school (which is always set up with gambling) and I left within the hour. I get bored to tears with card games and chance just isn't my thing. Hubby says there's other things to do there. Really? It's not that I don't believe him, but since he does like gambling, I have a hard time believing I'd have fun considering if he doesn't just ditch me, he'd be pissy the entire time because he could be gambling.
2) We really don't have the money to "possibly" lose. Yes, you can't win unless you play, but you also can't lose money if you don't. To me, since we are falling behind on rent again, it's an absolutely no-go.
3) The Aunt. Chain smoker-extraordinaire. "Not around the baby" to her means it's ok to light up one, door-less room away. The house wreaks of cigarette smoke. Personally, I catch bronchitis if I'm around smoke for too long. 3 hours, my lungs will be begging me to get out.... over night? I'm doomed for the next week to be sick. I don't know if our daughter is the same way. She's never spent a night away from me because everyone on his side of the family smokes. I'm not settled with it but hubby thinks 'it's alright.' To me, I cannot justify "2 days of getting away" with coming back to a sick kid I have to take extra care of for a week afterwards. I mean, she's too young to say "hey, could you smoke somewhere else?" or even get away from someone who smokes. I don't like it. I think I'd be worrying the entire time I was gone if put in that situation (which would piss off my husband even more... which would ruin the whole point of 'getting away').
We don't have a lot of options. Like I said, his entire side of the family smokes. We don't live anywhere near where my parents live. Am I too much of a killjoy? It's not that I 'hate smokers' it's just that his family hasn't proven to me I can trust them around my child. Since she's been born, we've told them countless times, "don't smoke around her" and they still do. Even the smallest amount of time to watch her, when we pick her up and they answer the door with a lit cigarette hanging out of their mouths! I mean, COME ON! One friggin' hour!?
I don't know what to do. He called off the weekend trip but I know it's going to be hung over my head. He always uses the whole "it's just because you grew up in a smokeless home and I come from a family of smokers" 'fact' against me when the idea comes up of our daughter spending the night with one of the family. I hate shooting down ideas but a lot of times I feel like I'm the only one trying to look out for the well-being of our daughter.
Argh. I hate this!!
Comments:
Exactly. Looking at his brother and cousins who are all have been in their watchful eyes... not exactly my idea of how I want her to grow up like. With exception to those who are underage, I'm not exaggerating when I say "everyone on his side of the family smokes" -- cousins, aunts, uncles, ect. I can count on one hand those in his family (besides him) who smoke. You've got relatives who do drugs, deal drugs, drop outs, drunks, pregnant teens -- you name it, there's someone who's into it/done it.
Yeah. They don't truly care... there's only one person they really care about and that's their own self.
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My husband is big big big smoker...he always goes outside. When it's winter he chews instead. Or when he's driving with the kids in the car, he will chew. I wouldn't leave my kids there either because they sound like they don't care...nor do they care to learn about the potential threat of cigarette smoking around children... Ignorance is bliss. If they don't care about your children's health, what else do they not care about that you do when they watch them? Makes you wonder, huh?
- Pristine_Dream
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