What's it to you?

[Bethsunshine]

There was yet ANOTHER question in the "Answers" section today criticizing homeschooling because apparently, this one homeschooled family that the poster knows won't let their kids play with the posters kids. According to the OP, this family never goes anywhere, they just stay home all the time. She asked the homeschoolers on the site if we allow our kids to play with kids who go to public school and then of course, there came the responses of the uninformed that all homeschoolers are socially deprived and there is something wrong with homeschooling.  As a homeschooler, I seriously do not understand why those of you who send your kids to public school feel the need to CONSTANTLY question us ( homeschoolers that is) about why we homeschool and if our kids are socialized!!! Why is it any of your business? Why are you so overly concerned that our kids may be socially deprived because we don't send them to school to be shut in a room with 30 other kids their age, and never having the opportunity to be around other kids who are older or younger?

For the 5 millionth time, yes there ARE some homeschoolers who give homeschooling a bad name because they DO keep their kids in the house all the time and they're never around other people. I actually know 2 homeschooling families like that. But I know MANY more homeschooling families that DON'T do that, including my own!!! I know some public schooled kids who are incredibly socially backward, but does that mean I assume that just because these kids are that way that ALL public schooled kids are like that? I can emphatically say " NO I DO NOT!!" Why? Because I DO NOT CARE!! I don't care WHERE you send your kids to school. Is it working out for you? Yes? Good, wonderful, great!!! Then why do you care how MY kids are educated? Did it ever occur to you that MAYBE the reason why us homeschoolers don't let our kids play with your public schooled kids is because the kids just don't WANT to play together? Personally, my kids play with whoever will play with THEM, and as long as the kids behave themselves and are polite and respectful, how and where they are educated means diddly squat to me.Most of their friends are homeschooled or private schooled, simply because that's who they are around most of the time. We are VERY involved in our church and our church has a private Christian school ( up until last year, that's where my children were enrolled) and their friends ( their closest friends ) either go to the Christian school or they are homeschooled. That doesn't mean they never play with anyone else. There are 2 kids on our street who are public schooled and they play with them alot (BTW, these 2 kids are extremely socially awkward, but my kids still play with them).

People wonder why homeschoolers get so defensive about their choice. Well, how would you like it if every time you turned around someone was asking you " Why do you send your kids to public school?" Maybe I should start asking that whenever someone asks me why I homeschool!! Maybe that would solve the problem!!

[Christy644]

Jul. 13, 2009 at 4:41 PM

good point. I'm not a homeschooler, hadn't ever really thought much about it. I guess I never thought there would be an issue involved with homeschooled kids. LOL. I live a sheltered life I guess. as long as your kids are happy, healthy and educated what is it of anybody elses business? right?

Good post!

[theyareallmine]

Jul. 13, 2009 at 4:45 PM

Thank you!!  My kids are very socialized....just this past weekend my girls spent the night out at a friend's house, then one of them had a b-day party yest afternoon, my oldest ds went to camp for a week, and he goes to youth on Wed nights where he is very active with the other kids who attend schools (public and private).

During the schoolyear we belong to a homeschool group where the children participate in P.E. every week that we pay a scool coach to teach, they have science and social studues nights where they present projects they have done, we have living literature nights as well, also field trips all over...this is all with our homeschool group.

My children are very well rounded and active inside my home as well as outside of it......

 

[theyareallmine]

Jul. 13, 2009 at 4:46 PM

Please pardon the typos....nursing at the keyboard....

[michiganmom116]

Jul. 13, 2009 at 6:50 PM

I don't defend my choice to homeschool, I just point at my kids.  They're usually the ones in the middle of a whole group of kids, playing basketball, riding bikes, playing with toys, playing impromptu soccer or baseball games.....OR, if we're at the nursing home visiting I have to hunt them down because they've decided to go visit on their own. No "socialization" problems there!

My kids are also at the age where they know who they want to play with or not.  It would be the same way if they were attending public or private school...they would be picking their own friends.

[Cenedra64]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 6:37 AM

I don't understand why ppl make a big issue out of children sociallizing in home schooling.   Mine have no problems with socializing.   If people really looked at their own families there's usually nothing more different between their socialization and home schooled children's socialization.   When my kids went public school,  I couldnt' afford alot of those after school activities. Their friends didnt' come over to see them and play.  It wasn't my fault.   Suddenly when you're home schooling it's different?   The lady was concerned with the family staying home all the time?  Well alot of ppl do with this economy.    Even with my dd who still goes to public school, we don't go alot of places.   Either she'd got home work when she comes home, supper has to be cooked, she has to bath before bed.  That don't leave alot of hours to go places or time for her to just run and play.  Life is really not different for a homeschooler vs a public schooler

[Fistandantalus]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 11:26 AM

Agreed, but at the very least there are now more homeschooling families out there to provide examples.  We're second-generation homeschoolers and things were a heck of a lot worse 35 years ago when "homeschooled" meant you were a "problem kid", a card-carrying member of the Tassajara Commune or went to school by radio in the Outback.  Every kid around here wants to come here to play and it's not just abouyt my kids, it's about all the educational materials we have!  Kids want to learn, pretty much all the time.  Yesterday I had a gaggle of boys aged 10-15 come over asking for VIOLIN LESSONS!

[KatieP.]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 1:08 PM

well I was homeschooled and even in this economy I have a terrific job, went to one of the best engineering schools and have a ton of freinds. With everyone complaining about class sizes I have to ask-What better teacher to student ratio is 1:1? Also there are studies (I don't have time to find them) that homeschooled kids do better then non.... The only problem I had with being homeschooled was the extreme religion but I think you could get that anywhere. I am sending my kids to public school but that does not mean I find homeschooling inferior

[mancosmomma]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 2:31 PM

I saw that question too, and one lady said that the family never left the house, but in the next line she said the only time she saw them was when they were getting into their minivan to go somewhere!  LOL! Gee, could they be going somewhere to socialize with other people?  I'm guessing the reason the homeschool family never socialized with them was because they didn't particularly like them.  It had nothing to do with homeschooling.

I've been accused of being defensive, but then I've never asked anyone WHY they sent their kids to public school as if it was an insult. If I did that, I'm sure I'd get defensive answers too.  LOL  

I'm sick of the people who know ONE family (or maybe just saw them on Wife Swap!) and judge ALL families by that standard.

[mslksdh]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 2:49 PM

Well Said! Thank you! I was actually just venting on this a few minutes ago.

[MAUREEN55]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 7:15 PM

Great post. As a public school teacher, I have seen homeschooling done very poorly... but also very well. I know across the country many schools are lacking and for some families home school is hands down the best option.

But I would like to add,  that many homeschool parents (Not in this post) on CM tend to take thier bad experinces with public school and generlize about all teachers and all schools.  For example, I just read a post in one of my groups where a woman said the home school environment is far superior to a school environment.  I don't doubt that her environment is best for her kids, but that doesn't mean it's true in general. 

So just like that one home school family who shelters their kids isn't a fair representation of homeschooling, the burn out, screaming teacher who doesn't care about the kids certainly doesn't represent most of us teachers.