Breastfeeding is NOT easy! *rant/vent/whatever*

[Xynyth]

And I'm tired of being told that it is. If breastfeeding were so dang easy I'd be doing it. I'm a lazy SOB most of the time and if breastfeeding were easier than spending hours a day pumping, washing bottles and pump parts, and feeding my 2 month old all while taking care of a needy toddler you better believe I'd be doing it.

*Sigh* Ok now that is off my chest....

I'm finding that exclusively pumping doesn't really fit in anywhere. No one can seem to answer all my questions, there is a total lack of support and every website I have been to is remarkably unhelpful.

I hate being made to feel like I didn't try hard enough, believe me I've tried everything. I've seen 3 different Lactation consultants multiple times. Tried every position under the sun. Used nipple shields, weird suction bulb things, pumping first, different times of day or night. Nothing. We've even been to see a pediatric ENT to see if she was tongue tied....nothing.

The most encouraging thing I've heard is after pumping for several months a few women tried BFing again and managed to make it work but those stories are VERY few and far between.

Quite frankly, at this point I've completely lost my motivation to try again. The frustration and tears are just not worth it. I wanted to breast feed, I really, really did. I'm doing the best I can for my DD by sitting around stuck to a machine a good portion of my day but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. If this were my first child it probably would be a bit easier.

Lucy has only been given formula a handful of times. Right after she was born to help get her weight up after losing too much; and more recently because I've depleted my freezer stock and can't seem to get my supply back to where it was. She doesn't like it. She'll eat it because she's hungry but never anywhere near as much as she'll eat boobie milk (and I know part of that is natural but I mean she'll only eat maybe an ounce or two of formula compared to 3-5 oz of breast milk).

I'm not anti formula by any stretch of the imagination (Xylia was FF) but I'm just not ready to go that route and I can't help feeling like a failure.....again.

I don't know if I'm looking for motivation or permission to give up some days. I have one last thing to try (larger flanges) and hope that will do something to increase my supply back to where it was before I changed pumps.

Well anyway, rant/vent/think out loud over.

[Kivara]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 10:51 AM

Sending hugs your way.

As long as your child is fed, you are a good mom, no matter if its BF, FF, or pumped.

I exclusively BF all 3 of my boys, but if I didn't have a good friend at my church, I would have given up a week after having my first. She is a mom of 5, and knew I was getting frustrated and helped me with some tricks to latch them on properly (I had gone to several lactation consultants as well, and they weren't worth my time)

DO you have any mom friends that have BF that you can talk to in person?

My let-down was so fast, it was gushing, and I was always majorly engorged, but I could never pump more than a couple ounces at a time.

PM me if you need someone to talk to though!

[tginn20]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 11:14 AM

You do what you need to do for you and your baby.  I plan on bf this baby but I am scared to death bc all I hear is how painful and hard it is. I didn't  bf w/ my son and he is fine...but I really want to try. I hope you get things figured out and there is no need to feel bad about it. The only thing that matters is making sure your little one is taken care of ...fed and happy!!

[trepsica]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 11:24 AM

unhappy mom makes for unhappy baby, regardless of how they are fed. you do what is best for you and her. have you looked into renting a hospital grade pump? they can typically bring your supply up very well in a matter of weeks, and you will notice change in a matter of days.

[Xynyth]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 11:47 AM

Oddly enough I burned the motor out on my single wimpy pump I was getting 12-15 oz out of at a time and switched to a hospital grade double electric (Ameda Elite) and my supply DROPPED to maybe 6 oz at a time and I've struggled hard core to get it back to even 8-10 oz at a time. I really think I might need larger flanges, plus this is a solid plastic horn and the other one was silicone.

Thanks ladies. What kills me is that I should be freaking ecstatic about how far I've come. I only made it 2 weeks with DD#1. I have no idea why I'm having such a hang up about this. Maybe it's because it's helping me lose weight lol. Forget the kid, I'm pumping for selfish reasons lol. j/k...sort of :p

(Original Poster)

[RowanandOrion]

Jul. 14, 2009 at 11:59 PM

you are a good mommy. the fact that you are worried about it and want to BF at all shows me that you are. :) i thought the fenugreek was helping? maybe look online and see if there is anything else you can take to boost your supply? have you tried massage? i know that helped me a little. :( im sorry you are having such a hard time. We are all here for you.

[theyareallmine]

Jul. 15, 2009 at 12:06 AM

First and foremost...no matter what hapens from this point on, you gave your dd the BEST thing you culd...your milk for as long as you could, whether that was 6 days or 2 mths.

Have you tried eating oatmeal? Or taking fenugreek? Those two normally help increase supply.

I wish you all the best no matter what happens....you are a wonderful mother, no matter how she is fed!!

[Xynyth]

Jul. 15, 2009 at 9:45 AM

Aww you all make me smile.

I hear blessed thistle is supposed to work too. I'll try that as soon as we get paid. Fenugreek was working but it didn't do enough and I ran out. I know I need to drink more water. I've been slacking there but I do think I need a bigger flange. Gotta wait to buy that too.

 

On a semi unrelated note, anyone get weird cravings after your baby was born? I swear I've been eating skittles almost every day! I never had craving while pregnant lol.

(Original Poster)

[mommypip]

Jul. 15, 2009 at 1:14 PM

I'd definately try the larger flange. Are you large breasted (not trying to be nosy, but a larger flange would help with that). I would occasionally try to get her back on the breast. Maybe she will eventually get it as she gets older. You are not horrible for having issues with this. Another thing, if the baby is fighting maybe you are eating something that doesn't agree with her, maybe you have a very strong letdown? Just trying to help. I agree with the lady who said to ask a friend (if you have one) who breastfeeds for advice. If anything, it is wonderful that you are trying so hard. A lot of people give up at the slightest difficulty. Whatever the outcome I wish you and your LO luck and good health.

[MissG9]

Jul. 15, 2009 at 1:50 PM

As long as your child is fed, regardless of FF, BF, or pump, you are doing your job.

Just ignore all the ignorant mothers on here, who want to throw stones from glass houses all day.

It's really get old.

YOUR child. YOUR decision.

Not sure where they feel they get to add their two cents on the subject. Or who made them the Almight Mother of all Mothers.

But, really. Their annoying "my way is THE only way" attitudes are just plain obnoxious.

 

[truthrowan]

Jul. 15, 2009 at 8:39 PM

I exclusively pumped for 5 months, so if you need support or advice, ask me. I quit because of an emergency appendectomy and being on antibiotics he was allergic to for 6 weeks, and pumping and dumping for six weeks wasn't a realistic option. Whoever said BF'ing was easy, Especially pumping, needs their head examined. In the end, we all do the best we can, and that's all anyone can expect. I had a blocked gland and MRSA while I was BF'ing my son, and both times my supply dropped dramatically. The only way to get it back, for me, was to go on a two hour schedule, which is hard, but after about 4 days I was back where I'd been and able to go back to pumping every 4 hours. I'm about to have my second, so I may come to you for advice, because I KNOW doing it with a toddler will be a million times harder. I wish you luck, however things work out.