this recession sucks

[Guaranteed]

I was reading Joye's post here about the economy and how it has put so many of us into difficult situations, like being on public assistance (i.e. foodstamps, welfare checks, etc). It made me tear up a little because we have been working so hard, and it seems like nothing we do is getting us any closer to feeling "safe". Ramon lost his job and there just isn't anything out there right now. I am completely ashamed, but we've drained Andres' savings account just to pay the bills each month that he's been out of work. I'd get rid of internet, but I have to have it for school. That is really our only luxury. Even when Ramon had a job, money was too tight for me to buy things I needed, like new jeans after my old ones wore out. It makes me sad, not because I can't buy new things, but because Andres is growing up in a financially unstable time. I hope that he doesn't always have to worry about money like we do.

I know that this is just killing Ramon, but he is the kind of guy who doesn't let his stress show. He keeps it all tucked away. I just wish there was some way I could help. He's been applying like crazy all over town, even outside of town, but it's all been a bust. There are just so many people applying for jobs right now. Everyone needs work. I am ashamed now when Ramon's mom invites us over for dinner...I know she is doing it because she loves us, and she would invite us over for dinner even if he did have a job, but we've been over there four times this week. She understands, she has been where we are...but it's still...I don't know. I have always been the self reliant type. I never like to ask for help, even if I do need it, so not being able to take care of this situation really stresses me out.
We've been doing things to make a little extra money on the side, but that is merely enough to keep the rent and bills paid, and that is still stretching it. I can't describe what it feels like...to scrape by, trying to keep yourself out of this..."thing"...that seems like it is trying to swallow you whole. I am really trying to keep my focus on school, but it is so hard when I keep wondering how we are going to afford groceries and our gas bill. I actually went ahead and applied for Andres to be on Healthwave, which is like Medicaid in this state. I had to use public assistance, but I can't have him uninsured. He is too important to me.

I just don't know how to fix this...I don't think there is a way to fix this. I am really hoping that Ramon hears back from one of these places soon! This whole situation just sucks. Dang economy. We need a better living wage. Even working overtime, Ramon was making just enough to pay our bills and buy food and put gas in the cars. It's ridiculous.

[Guinhyvar]

Jul. 16, 2009 at 11:37 PM

It's hard and there's no easy answer, I know. The only thing we can do is stay strong, and focused and do the very best we can. Hang in there!