Who's Your Family? UPDATED IN BLUE

[gothmomx10]

My baby's grandmother is black.  No, my baby is not bi-racial.  My husband and are are very much white.  It just turned out that Boogie's grandma is black.  She is the only grandma he knows, period.  They have loved each other since the day he was born.  When she moved away from next door a few months ago he would still run over to the front door every day, knocking, and yelling, "Granma!  Granma!  Open, iz Boogie!" (SAD!:()

I have been told that she's just his "pretend" grandmother by both black and white and latin and asian and any other race that felt the need to voice their opinion.  Someone needs to tell me why she's just pretend.  Anyone?  Are adoptive parents "pretend" parents?  If someone has you in their heart as their family doesn't that make you "real" family?  Is it not possible for flesh and blood to deny you, dump you at birth, even kill you?  What constitutes "real" family?

I have a sister and brother, nieces and nephews that are not really my family.  Grandma is too young to be my mom and too old to be my sister but she is my family.  All of her family is my family and they say the same thing of us.  That's just how it is!  My dh calls her "Mama" even though she's only 6 years older than him!LOL  That's just how it is!  Her sister is every one's aunt and her kids are cousin this or that.  That's just how it is!  If her daughter has car trouble dh fixes it so she doesn't get screwed over.  That's just how it is!

One day Grandma took Boogie shopping with her and her daughter.  Some white woman walked up to them and after staring for an inappropriate time finally asked, "He's so cute, who's baby is he?"  WTF?!  As if they'd stolen him!  It was ignorance in the worst way.  More to the point, it wasn't her business. Boogie hasn't been on TV news as missing the last time I looked!

When I almost went into labor early Grandma and her sister sat with me until the contractions stopped.  When I came home with Boogie Grandma was there at my house.  When I was in a car accident Grandma took all the kids to her house so I could rest.  Every weekend, holiday, and birthday is celebrated together with plenty of Cajun and Soul food from both sides (we're southern, baby!).  When Hurricane Ike took out everything we hooked up the generator to save as much food in a mini-fridge as we could but more importantly to keep Grandma's insulin cool and another cousin's meds as well.  We shared everything during that week but it wasn't any different than any other day for us.

Just because we're white and they're black doesn't mean they aren't family.  Tell it to Boogie!  Explain it to him!  Watch him hold onto Grandma and hear him say, "I love you, Granma!" then tell him she's not really his!  We would die for them and vise versa. 

So, who's your family?

UPDATE!

To everyone that's read this and those that are reading for the first time:

Grandma and family have spent the last 5 Thanksgivings with us and this year must go out of town to be with Grandma's uncle.  I must have them for Thanksgiving so we decided to do a small Thanksgiving early.  Grandma called me the day after Boogie's birthday to rave over his birthday photo shoot that I sent her online.  Only that's not the only reason she called...

Grandma found a very big lump in her arm.  She has lymphoma.  She's only 58.  Boogie would never understand what this means but I do.

Whatever God you believe in, whatever religion you practice, whomever you pray to, please, pray for this wonderful woman that she wins this fight against cancer.  Pray that she's as strong as I know her to be.  Pray that she survives this and is there to see her Boogie graduate, get married, and have a family of his own.  If you are an agnostic or atheist, HOPE that she gets better!

Grandma survived being widowed with 4 small kids in her 20s.  She survived through the agony of her adult daughter being murdered!  She came through all that to become my baby's Grandma Shirley.  Please help her now with your positive thoughts and prayers.  Grandparents are awesome to have (most of the time) and she's all Boogie has.  I don't want any of us to lose her.

[Darlin67]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 3:44 PM

[Princessofscots]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 3:47 PM

WHEEEE finally someone that gets it.

I was born an only child but I have several sisters and brothers.

and neices and nephews.

I call them my "soul" family

[mierjo]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 3:48 PM

That was beautiful!

[SLGIRL]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 4:11 PM

LOVE is what makes a family, not skin color or race.   Your son is lucky to have such  a wonderful grandma.  My husband has good friends that are like family.  We go to their family reunion every summer & have Christmas with them.   Some of them are white, some black & some samoan.  We love them because they are good people.

[theyareallmine]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 4:18 PM

A W E S O M E post.  A W E S O M E.

Family~ People you love and who love you. Period. (my definition)

[joanlovestea]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 4:28 PM

good point... love what you had to say

[supermomcc]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 4:39 PM

Awwww...i feel u girl because i have a next door neighbor of 8 years now and we met when my kids were 8yrs, 3yrs, and 6 weeks old---- She came n2 r lives and has been a part of everything since. She asked could my kids call her & her husband Granny & Grandpa--- i agreed and i mean we share holidays, she babysits, if i did'nt tell anyone we were'nt related u would'nt guess it. Yes we're all African-American but never the less...i feel your family does'nt have 2 b biologically linked---- LOVE is thicker than BLOOD   :-)

[truthrowan]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 4:40 PM

My Sister, my best friend, my sons godmother, is biracial. We often joke that she and my bio sister are switched at birth (they only  have 20 days difference in age, 7 years older than me). My favorite "aunt" is black. Color doesn't matter, heart does. I love your journal entry, it's wonderful, have a great day.

[barby402000]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 4:51 PM

Don't ever let anyone tell that child that she's not his grandmother! What difference does it make whether she's black, white, purple or orange and he's not? Just because someone is related by blood does not make them a family and vice versa. This lady and her blood family are just as much your family as your blood family. That's what this world is supposed to be about. You are very lucky.  

[chickensmommy]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 4:57 PM

um, she dosen't look "pretend" to me she looks like a real person : )