Y do men get wierd?

[Milimommy1027]

Ok.  So my husband is about to be deployed for a year to Iraq.  He's known for about a year now that he would be.  And all year.....he's been so.....selfish.  Not that he hasn't gotten things done for our family that need to be.  But if he wants something or wants to do something....any extra money that we have has been going to that.  It never goes for something that I want or our kids want.  I have to really push him for anything like that or do it when he doesn't know.  And personally....my emotional needs haven't been met for a long time.  I know that men think that women r wierd, emotional basketcases.  But my husband knows that I need to be told (truthfully) that I'm wanted, beautiful, and loved.  And lately it just doesn't seem like he means it when he says those things.  Oh I know that he loves me.  But ever since I had our baby, I feel unattractive, disgusting, and taken for granted.  So, I guess what I'm wondering is in the short time we have left, do I say something?  Or do I just wait for him to leave and do whatever I want to then?

[mama4Christ361]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 9:12 PM

CALL THE CHAPLAIN NOW! Not joking tell him you need marital counseling and he will get it for you, on your schedule, and it does help.

If you let it go till after he leaves things WILL get even worse and you MAY even get divorced. trust me, I JUST went through it, but when dh came hom eon R&R we got the counseling and our marraige, while still slightly shaky is no longer so craptastic, I would rather shoot him than look at him.

Don't give him a choice in it either.

Also call the FRGL and see if there are any marraige retreats available soon. Or call ACS for the same info.

[Jjoneslagrange]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 9:47 PM

My brother-in-law did the same thing before he left for Afgan, I talked to him alot about what his problems were because his wife felt like he was leaving something out and for some reason he wouldn't talk to my husband. It turned out that he was so scared of dying that he distanced himself from everyone emotionally.  Be supportive but I agree that you should get some counseling! Good luck and God bless!

[KourtneyM]

Jul. 17, 2009 at 11:26 PM

 I agree call the chaplain! Deployments are one of those things that can make or break a marriage anyway.. but then again so is military life.  BUT if things are shaky before he leaves then they are only bound to get worse.  I really hope and pray things get better though.

[Milimommy1027]

Jul. 19, 2009 at 4:57 PM

Thanks 4 theadvice ladies.  goin 2 tlk 2 someone tomorrow.

(Original Poster)