upset at oldest child[might be long but need to vent]

[dragonbabe]

 I really do not know how to start or where to start.  I will try to be brief but I do not know if I will be able.  June 8th, my son, Tony was still in school.  He is cyber schooled.  My youngest, Delton, was still going to regular school.  So Delton had a dentist appt. at 1.  I took him to the dentist.  Tony had called if he could go to his friends house to swim.  She picked him up.  I have no problem with him going to hang out with her and her husband.  I decided to stop by one for Delton to go swimming plus we were told we could stop by to visit any time.  The woman and I do have things in common. Well we get there everything is fine.   She has friends there. She was letting the one stay there because she had no where else to go.  That was her business.  She is 29 and 2 kids.  Her husband left her for a 17 year old.  Her business.  Well, since then my son had gotten very secretative.  As a mother, I felt something was wrong.  My child  was never secretative and liked to spend time with family.  Well this past weekend it all came to ahead.  I will take a little blame because I never said anything to his father about any of it.  I thought I could deal with it.  Well apparently I could not. Right now my nerves are jumping trying to write this.  We picked him up from staying with my sister which is another whole story.  Well he asked if he could spend the night with a friend.  I needed to know who he gave me a name.  Mistake number one was we did not drop him off.  We went to eat.  Did not give another thought.  ok he was to be home by 1:00pm on Sunday.  Well he called to ask if he could spend another night.  I said no but I did ask his father what he thought.  He called him back and said yes.  Well we went to eat at a place that knows us well.  The one server lives near our town said he had seen Tony the night before with a woman and child.  Warning bells went off.  He did not mention another kid with them meaning this Steve.  Darrell his father text him twice and he did not answer.  We came home and Darrell checked his cell phone bill because the kids are on his plan to see what numbers he has been calling the most with in the last 2 months.  There was one number that stood out.  Well, we drove down to Tony's friends house that we had went to that day.  Well they had not seen Tony but the way they were acting I knew they knew something well when I mentioned that Tony was seen with a woman and her one child they finally spoke up.  They thought they could deal with it with out telling us.  They told Tony not to see her and he had promised.  first broken promise.  They had also told her.  If forgot to add in there, my child is 16 going on 17.  OH was I pissed.  The woman took us to where she was staying at the time.  She was house sitting for a friend.  Well this woman I do not want to mention her name, took us to where she was.  She told this 29 year old that she has to get her stuff out that she was told to stop.  Well Tony was there busted.  We get home we send delton to his room for that fact he would have interrupted our talk with his opinion and I did not want that.  I know he heard what was said but I did not have his opinions.  Oh did I let him have it.  One he lied to us and he knows not to lie to us.  apparently he forgot.  But what the hell was he thinking.  Right now he has no life.  I don not know how long.  He lost his cell phone.  He is not allowed anywhere without me or his father along.  He is going to have to build up his trust.  I know he is 16 and we were giving him room to spread his wings but DO NOT LIE TO US. I am not saying that if he said he was dating a 29 year ,he still would not be able to see her but then his punishment would not have been as severe.  His father actually left me do the talking this time I should say yelling but notr overboard yelling.  He also had to apologize to his other friends for lying to them.  They might be more forgiving.

The biggest isse is This 29 year doesn't see that she did anything wrong.  We are not pressing charges at this moment.  She is punishing herself because the house she was sitting she was not to stay there or have male friends there.  So that person is pissed at her.  He is cutting his vacation short and coming home.  She was also seeing other guys at the same time.

I will believe my son that they had not done anything but kiss.  But for what I am told last week she had a yeast infection.  So I guess time will tell.

I know it takes two but I am pissed at her because she was the adult she could have told him no don't come around instead of encourage him.

This week has been hell that I can not even think to do my homework for college.

If you have made it this far thank you for taking the time for reading it.  I feel a little better just getting it out.

add on

if she does try to contact him again or he does then charges will be pressed.  We just didnot want him to have to testify and to relive it all over again.  I know we should but I think she has punished herself by maybe losing her kids in the process.  I do feel sorry for the kids because now they are homeless.  But her father had been contacted and her exhusband which he is possibly trying to get custody of his child with her.  I am not sure about her other child.  But she has 2 girls and i am thinking what if it was her kids with an older guy before they were of age.  If it would matter to her?

[lovemybabygirl7]

Jul. 18, 2009 at 10:07 AM

I would have pressed charges right away, she may see nothing wrong with it but a 16 year old doesn't have the maturity to make that kind of choice

[dragonbabe]

Jul. 18, 2009 at 11:50 AM

I agree with you lovemybabygirl7.  That is why I am not putting the blame him for it.  He is being punished for lying to us about where he was going and what not.  It was the lying.  He knows better.  I am not saying he would have continued with her but if he did not lie then his punishment would not be as severe.

(Original Poster)

[ashleywilkerson]

Jul. 28, 2009 at 3:41 PM

my brother-in-law has a 15 year old pregnant right now and hes 30 so we have been dealing with stuff on the same level. the only difference is she knew what she was doing she tried it with my husband befor we got married.    i hope things get better and work out for you