Uncomfortable in my own life!

[monkeymom2009]

Its 2 am in the morning, its my 13th wedding anniversary. I cant sleep. Ive been here in Williamsburg for 3 weeks now. I dont have any friends here. It feels so lonely. I have my kids, my newborn and my daughter. My hubby works hard to take care of us and he is doing a great job. I am so greatful. When I need a friend or want his attention its normally late at night after the kids are asleep and he usually is tired and so Im alone. I know its not fair to expect him to not need sleep, but its just hard. My days even though I love taking care of my family is routine and with a cranky newborn stressful most days, its not until they are asleep that Im relaxed and really feel social. I feel dissapointed and sad tonight. I know Im not going to get what I want. Its not fair to demand my husbands attention when he so tired, what can Ido? I feel neglected.

[pnwmom]

Jul. 19, 2009 at 2:32 AM

I know we are not in person but there are a lot of very intruiging groups on here.  Just do a search for whatever interest you in the group section.  IRL I have done book clubs and had them meet at my house when our sons were little.  You can check out meetup.com for all kinds groups in your area.  I belong to 3 through meetup and met some wonderful folks.  Good luck, remember we are here on CM as well.

[tlcawley]

Jul. 19, 2009 at 2:49 AM

Oh sweetie. I know what your going through.. exactly what your dealing with. See, I've traveled with my husband for going on 12 years now. When i met him i was 17. I married him when i was 18 and had a baby! We've traveled off and on with his job together a total of 15 to 16 years. When my son was 4 we put him in preschool so he could get used to being away from momma, to learn how to play and associate with other children besides his big bro. and family... Then when he was in the 5th grade we went on the road again.. financially we didn't have a choice.. I home schooled my son!!  He was and is the LOVE of my life... he'll be 22 in Sept.  My time has flew by.  I'd give anything for him to be a toddler again. :-) When he started to work full time and have a life of his own i became very depressed. I've always had a problem with anxiety and depression so I'm on med. for it and it helps me out tremendously.  I only have the one son except for my step son! I've been in his life since he was 4 so he's like my own son.  I haven't been around many friends since the way we travel it is impossible to keep a good friend around.  Time has always been spent taking care of my son and hubby. 

I know this isn't what you expected but i wanted to give you some info. about me before i commented on your post. :-)

Friends will come and go but family is forever.  Your always surrounded by young children and when your hubby comes home its like "YES" i have an adult to converstate with. But when they get home, their tired, take their shower, relax, watch t.v. and spend time with the children. Then it's time to go to bed.  Where is your time?????????  That's exactly what i used to think. I'd be waiting for Darrell to come home from work so excited just to be let done cause he works so hard... so i finally had to get my mind set that i was going to have to do the best i can do with the cards i'd been dealt with. 
It is hard when your life changes and your used to having your girlfriends around. Your mother, sister, bro. or who ever was in your life before the move.  I used to make friends with women at the Campground resorts we would stay in while he had to complete his job.  We have stayed in campers and 5th wheels since we've traveled with his job.  We found it was better that way because of how frequently we had to move. Most jobs don't last more than 4 to 5 months so signing a lease was out of the question and motels were not a practical place to raise a child and have what normal of life we could have.

Back then we didn't have the computer to keep me busy like it does now.  I've met some of the sweetest women on Cafemom. 

I just wanted to let you know your not alone.  I had to deal just like you for so long that it finally got better.  You have alot of responsibilities right now! Especially with the children.  Maybe you need to sit down and talk with hubby!  Let him know how your feeling about the situation.  Maybe find a way for you 2 to have 1 or 2 nights out a month.  I know it's hard when your in a new area. Have to find someone you can trust to leave your precious children in their care.......not to worry about them when your out with hubby to spend that time with him and not worrying about your lil ones.

I hope you can talk with your hubby and find a way to make this work... if you can't find someone to watch the children.. Have it set up to where after you put the little ones to bed on a fri. or sat. to have a date night at home... Grill out together, watch a movie, take a bath together, order your food out... there are alot of things you can do together once your children are in the bed... Just have to tell him and he'll hopefully understand and make it work..

I'm sorry this is long but i didn't want to tell you what to do without letting you know i've been there girl!!

If you wanna talk i'm here.  Just message me... ok

Take care and good luck...

Sincerely, Tamie

[CMork]

Jul. 19, 2009 at 10:02 PM

I saw your new to the area. Im 26 and living in Newport News. I have a 4 month old and I saw you are into photography. I love photography and its kind of my escape. My hubby works long hours and all my friends have moved from the area so it can get lonely. If you need someone to chat with or even meet up with just let me know. Im on here all the time trying ot meet new people.