for the past 3 years we have taken care of and my mother has had custody of two boys whose parents decided they would rather drink and do drugs than take care of them. tonight was finallythe breaking poin twith the oldest. for 3 weeks now he has  been nothing but rude and has refused to do anything to change his ways. yes he is almost 11 and is starting puberty but still that can only be used as an excuse for so long. appparently saturday he got into an arguement with one of the teenagers in our neighborhood causing teh kid to come up here and say that he was being rude to him and calling him every name in the book. he denied using cuss words but just the week before while being punished for his actions he told my 2 year old to call me and my mother bitches. of course he denied it but my son went back to the room and said "i did it dug dug". i'm sorry but my son doesn't know that language and would never say that unless he was told to. sunday we tried to keep them away from teh teenager and he was almost fine with helping us clean and help out. today however he started mouthing off to everyone and being very disrespectful. he was punished multiple times and still doesn't care what happens. he has asked other people in his life if he oculd move in with them because he does not want to be here where he has responsibilities and supervision. we have tried everythign with him including couseling but that doesn't even seem to help. tonight we asked him to take a bag of trash out. he lifted it up before we asked him to take it out. afte rwe asked him he said he couldn't lift it and threw a huge fit. we finally asked his brother to take it out and he did. while he took it out he started to lash out at us severly. my mother has tried to be reasonable as have the other adults in our house and he just doesn't care to listen to us at all. he actually believes heis the only kid in teh world that has chores and gets punished for days instead of an hour or two like hsi other friends. we have basically decided that tomorrow if things do not change he will be put into the system and learn how good he actually had it here. we hate to break him and his brother up but we just can't take anymore. i really think that he wouldlove to give every adult in this house a stroke or heartattack. he is a terrible influence on the younger kids here and we just can't take it anymore


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Jul. 21, 2009 at 8:23 AM

Take a moment and put yourself in this child's life. Try to see what the child must feel like.  If your going to have to deal with him I would try to talk to him on an adult manner.  Put him more in charge of himself and his consequences for bad behaviors.   He sounds like a lost soul entering teen years.   He needs someone to depend on and someone to tend to his basic needs of knowing someone loves him unconditionally.  

When a tween starts acting out and being a nuisance, especially if they are not yours it is VERY difficult to deal with them but its what the tween really needs. He probably has abandoment issues deep down inside himself and feels insecure.  The way he is acting is a call for help.  

good luck.  I wouldn't want to have that extra problem in my life.

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Jul. 21, 2009 at 8:46 AM

i wish you luck and i'm here if you want to talk.

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Jul. 21, 2009 at 8:59 AM

I agree with MSugar...

This boy is hurting. Unfortunately, only time will heal his wounds.

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