The Only One

[xandersmom]

My son is an only child. I plan on not having any more children. Many people tell me he needs a sibling. My usual response is that I can barely manage the one I have, so why would I want to have more? Being a full-time teacher and trying to keep my active four-year-old boy busy this summer with plenty of activities, has left me no time at all for myself.

Here's the thing: I am suffering from Mother's Guilt of having an Only Child. Taking care of one child is difficult enough and I can't imagine how the millions of other moms out there with two or more children find enough time in the day to do everything that they need or want to be done.

Should I do laundry or play with my son? Is it okay to relax and read a magazine for twenty minutes and let him play by himself? It's hard to make a phone call without my son clamoring for my attention. My computer time is only after he goes to bed. My days have been centered around playdates, t-ball practices and games, swim lessons, running errands, cleaning house, etc.

Why do I feel guilty if my son is not busy doing something every second of the day? How do I sneak in more Mommy time before I go completely bonkers?

How do you moms of an Only Child do it?

[TACMom36]

Jul. 22, 2009 at 10:05 PM

Ok, I am not a Mom of an only child, but I totally commend you for making that decision.  I think it is rude for people to suggest that your child needs a sibling, and personally none of their business.  I do not think you should feel guilty about your decision to have one child, however, the mom guilt is overwhelming I think for every mother.  I torment myself over the same issues everyday as well.  Too much t.v. , I didn't play enough with them, I cleaned the house too much, etc.  I think most moms are constantly torn in these directions.  However, we have entered into a society were we feel this overwhelming urge that our children need constant entertainment, and in reality time alone for them is probably one of the best gifts we can give.  Good luck, and don't worry I am sure you are doing great! 

[MrsManners]

Jul. 23, 2009 at 9:02 AM

I have one, he is only two but I suffer a little from Mommy guilt too.  At the end of the day, you should be commended for knowing your limitations.  That is the sign of a good no great Mother.  I wish I knew how to help you get more time for you, if I come up with anything later I will pop back in!  Good luck!