So I have realized after reading many many siggies that some moms have STRANGE things to be proud of.  If your parenting varies from another person's you are supposed to be proud of it??

Pride is defined as Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement, possession, or association...ok makes sense right

SO I can understand how doing something REALLY good for your kids can make you proud of yoruself...like breastfeeding-takes alot of work, isn't easy, not everyone has the time, patience, support or knowledge to do it....ok be proud of it.  Rear facing past the legal limit-ok well its proven 5 times safer so I can see being proud of it.  Being a SAHM-not all moms can handle it, the stress is alot, it takes patience, and energy some moms can't handle being SAHMs so ok be proud of it

Here's what I don't understand...if you choose not to BF or can't for whatever reason....you formula feed-ok I did that eventually with my older 2 kids, was I "proud" of it?  NO..in fact I never thought of it as an achievement or got any satisfaction from it at all so nope not proud of it, even while I was doing it.  I don't understand the Proud formula feeders...YAY you feed your child...ok want a cookie?  Proud Cry it out moms-ok so you feel pride in leaving your child to cry for long periods of time?? I'm not talking the whimper or fuss til asleep but the crying for hours mom  and dad never go in to check kinda CIO moms...you know the ones who brag about being Proud CIO moms-I don't get that being something to be proud of..is that an achievement??  How about parents who proudly Forward face at a year...well I guess its an achievement that you made it to a year RFing, but being proud of Forward facing and increasing your childs risks of death in a car accident 5 times...seriously NOT an achievement in any way.

Whats next Proud parent of a bully?  Proud junk food feeding mom? Proud neglectful mom??

Seriously you do what you have to do to raise your kids, its every parents choice as to how to raise them, BUT to be proud of things that take NO work, NO real achievement to do...yeah you do them, it doesn't mean you should be "proud" of them..be proud of your children for their achievements sure, be proud of what you work hard to do for your kids, but seriously people

*NOTE I am not saying anyone is a bad mom for their choices, every mom has their own situation and their own choices, I'm just saying people seem to misunderstand being proud...

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Comments:

rozepyle
Jul. 26, 2009 at 7:59 PM the only thing i dont agree with is the bad mom thing/choices. abuse is abuse and their is no excuse or situation to justify it, other than that you know how i feel about you and the things you write ;) muah!

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tabi_...
Jul. 26, 2009 at 8:04 PM

I agree abuse is abuse...but formula feeding no matter how much I dislike it isn't abuse, and FFing at a year is legal, and sadly CIO is legal too...some doctors recommend it...

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jus1jess
Jul. 26, 2009 at 11:52 PM

Proud junk food feeding mom?

I've actually seen this. I don't think these women are proud. Yeah, they're probably happy to not be bothered by selfless and thoughtful parenting, but not proud. It's just rebellion. I find the mindset sad. There are moms who do the right thing, give others advice on doing the right thing, and say they're proud of it. They should be. After all, they did something good. Then the immature little rebels got tired of *gasp* hearing from parents who take parenting seriously. They accuse people who do jobs worthy of pride of being stuck up, judgemental, and being extremists. So they brag about how they do differently cause they're the mom and they can. Not cause it's best. Not cause it's beneficial for the child. Not out of love. Just cause they can. And I guess they get a kick out of saying You can't tell me what to do! Look how little I do! I can cause I'm the mom! I don't care if you don't like it! It's all about image and rebellion. They want people to know they don't care. At least that's how I see it.

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kyrie...
Jul. 27, 2009 at 10:59 AM

Seriously you do what you have to do to raise your kids, its every parents choice as to how to raise them, BUT to be proud of things that take NO work, NO real achievement to do...yeah you do them, it doesn't mean you should be "proud" of them..be proud of your children for their achievements sure, be proud of what you work hard to do for your kids, but seriously people

that's awesome, tabi! great journal!!!!

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kyrie...
Jul. 27, 2009 at 11:02 AM

oh yeah, i've seen the proud junk food feeding moms too! who the frick is proud of that? in essence, that's like being proud of murder. just like the other choices pretty much equate to being proud of abuse and fricking up a child for life... way to go, moms!

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catho...
Jul. 27, 2009 at 11:04 AM

GREAT JOURNAL!

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milfa...
Jul. 27, 2009 at 12:40 PM

Proud Junk Food Feeding Mom?

I bet they'll be proud when their adult child has a heart attack due to the years of cholesterol build-up because they were never taught to eat a healthy diet.  YAAAAY!  What an achievement!  You rock, Mom!

 

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BttrM...
Jul. 27, 2009 at 2:51 PM

Awhile ago I actually c&p the most ignorant siggy I could find and made a journal similar to this....it didn't go over well, lol. I don't understand it either. People like to look dumb, that's my guess. :/

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CAgir...
Jul. 27, 2009 at 4:39 PM

I think when a lot of people say "proud" they really mean "adamant" and they're trying to tell you that you're not going to talk them out of doing it no matter what you say.

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Xakana
Jul. 27, 2009 at 4:48 PM

I think it's largely a knee-jerk reaction to the signatures of AP moms, that those parents don't understand the reasoning for. Sure, there are clearly judgmental AP siggies, rather than just stating how they parent, but the original intend of them was to find like-minded moms to chat with, because we will have more similar parenting challenges. I think that the mainstreamers read it and said "How dare you judge me with your siggy!" and retaliated, not realizing that it has nothing to do with them (especially since it's always strangers that do this--I get surprised at how many people seem to think a stray comment is an attack against them personally).

By the definition of proud, I doubt they are. Are they prideful? Clearly. And defensive and quite possibly guilty (since we full-term nursers constantly have to defend ourselves, I can't say that defensiveness is guilt, ours is just trying to get judgmental ignorant loudmouths off our backs--many of them probably feel like they're trying to get judgmental know-it-all loudmouths off their backs).

The ones who feel the need to put "proud" in there, though, I doubt fall into the latter category. That's overly defensive. I'm sure they're just saying they're proud of themselves as parents because... um... well, I'm having a hard time seeing the other side of the coin and that's rare. Proud because their children seem happy and healthy? Proud because they still love their children, maybe?

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