Stress... So Much Going On

[beatymomof2]

Alright there is so much going on right.  Heck I don't even know where to start.

First.  I am so sick of paying bills, being in debt, and yet having my husband keep over $100 every week (usually 130, sometimes as high as 155) to spend on alchohol and cigerettes.  I owe close to $12,000 in undergrad loans, $3,300 in graduate loans (plus I am applying for another one - $2,500 I'm working on a graduate certificate and have 2 more classes to take and I'm done in December - for now anyways - want my masters eventually).  We owe close to $8000 in credit card debt split out between 5 credit cards, 2 will be paid off by September but they only have a little over $150 on them.  Then there's the auto loan, we owe about $2600 on it (that's not too bad and I'm not complianing about that all that much) and I'm definitely not complaining about the $60,000 mortgage we have but wish that our house was paid off.  I take money out of my paychecks for the flexible spending account for health care and have already maxed that out, yet my 3 yr old and I need to go to the dentist and I need to go to the eye doctor and we have no cash to spare.  Not when we need new gutters on the house and one side definitely needs new siding. 

Second.  Than there's work.  I am on my 9th working in a row averaging 9 hours a day.  I have to work 3 more days before I get Saturday off.  Yet I have to drive 2 hrs on Friday so I can through my sister a baby shower on Saturday than I get to drive 2 hrs back Saturday so I can be at work on Sunday and than I don't get a single day off until August 29th, which will be my son's 1st birthday party.

Third.  Than there's my house.  It's not messy like food being left out or not being able to walk through things.  But it's not clean to the standards I have set by any means.  We need to rent a storage unit yet I don't know what size - I just know that our $500 pop-up camper needs to get out of my garage.  And all my storage totes need to go somewhere, anywhere because they look tacky.

Forth.  There are so many stories floating around in my head (ones that I want to write) yet I have so much else going on that I don't have time to write them down.  I want to start but everytime I do something else happens.  Than I tell myself - tomorrow I'll write, yet tomorrows come and go and I still haven't written anything.

Fifth.  My husband - again.  So he's an alcoholic but won't admit it.  Than when I approached two different times for the same thing, he lied to me and said no that he didn't smoke pot and called my brother a liar, but than I found out from his sister he did and he admits it.  The second time he said I thought we decided to sweep it under the rug.  I WOULD HAVE IF YOU WOULD HAVE ADMITTED IT WHEN I ASKED YOU - BUT YOU LIED AGAIN ABOUT IT SO NO IT'S NOT UNDER THE RUG.  I can't tell you whether or not to smoke pot if you are my mother or brother or friend but don't do it around me or my children, but you are my husband and you knew how I felt about it before we got married and NO I have not changed my mind on that.  And if you want to do it than guess what, ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOUR OUT.  So we have two, if I hear about a third time of you doing it - we are done.  By doing it you put my job at risk and you risk your kids growing up like I did.  I hated my mom when she drank or smoked pot.  I hated my dad because he was an alcoholic (CONGRATS DADDY ON FIVE YEARS SOBRIETY - I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER).  I haven't drank since September of 2007 except 2 drinks after my son was born - one in October of 2008 and one in November 2008, both of which ended up in the drain after half was gone and when no one was looking.

Sixth.  Reading.  I have so many books I want to read but no time to read them.

Seventh.  Working out.  I want to work out but have no strength to do so.  I am tired all of the time - I'm a little anemic since I was pregnant with my son and think it has continued on.  I know that if I start working out I'll start feeling better.  But have no ambition or motiviation and hate how my body looks.  Hell I haven't even been about to get on the Wii Fit lately and miss that.

Well I better go now and get something done.  Boy do I need to buy me that file cabinet and bookcase to get a little organizing done - think that will help a little bit.

[Lb128f]

Jul. 28, 2009 at 10:41 PM

Good Luck! You've placed a lot on your plate ;-). Maybe trying to tackle one thing at a time will help? But, I do think writing it out and assessing what takes priority helps. I'm sorry about your DH and his addictions...that's not good. And, with cigarette's being $5 a pack...if he smokes a pack a day...then he's using about $70 a week for "whatever" -- again not good. Almost $300 a month that could help with "needs" instead of wants. Some ideas....;-)

1) Put all your loans in deferment until you HAVE the job that will pay for them! The government is okay with that...that's why they offer the option! Ask your DH (or tell him) to start attending AA and NA meetings instead of drinking and smoking...it WILL help if he WILL attend! The other bills are "normal" bills that any growing family has...let's face it...if you have "things" you are going to have bills. ;( IF you need home repairs you could check into refinancing...you may be able to get the money you need to fix the house AND pay off the credit cards and still come out with about the same monthly mortgage payment.

2) Working so much...don't you accrue any sick or leave time? If so...take some...for YOU. A day alone...to read, write whatever! And, if not...ASK for a day OFF for the same reason! YOU deserve it!

3) The house...with children doesn't it stay that way? :-) Please do NOT rent storage...it will be another monthly bill and I can guarantee you it will stay there forever!! People always get storage with the plan of going through the things and clearing out the storage soon. It doesn't happen....instead....have a garage sale! Make some money AND get rid of accumulated "stuff" you never see or use!

4) When you take a day off you CAN do this! ;-)

5)  So true!!!!! NA and AA, they work!

6) See #'s 2 and 4!

7) Hmm...this could also be done on a day off...or in the AM before everyone gets up or in the PM when everyone is asleep! Make time for YOU. Find time for YOU...it is so important!! IF you think you may be Anemic...check with the Doc or take some Iron tablets.

Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!