The End of One Chapter, the Beginning of Another

[DestinysMom0813]

Its time I realize that people cannot change and that many don't care who they hurt or worry... as long as they get what they want. I've found that not even the unconditional love you are supposed to have for someone doesn't stop you from doing stupid things to yourself. Why would someone let themselves drop so low that they take the bumpiest road they can find?

I understand that love is a crazy thing and at times it cannot be controlled. I felt that for years and fought to keep what I felt was love alive. Now I don't know what it ever really was I ever felt. Someone that I trusted with the one thing in the world that means the most to me has lied to me about so many things. And I'm just finding these all out tonight. I don't know what to think or believe anymore. I'm scared to share what I love the most because of things I've seen, read, and heard. I'm stuck in between and rock and a hard place and the gap is getting closer and closer every second. Soon I feel like I'm going to be crushed into oblivion.

I wish this person the best and I hope that they are happy. But I will never trust them again. They've lied to me so many times and it kills me to know this now. This final blow ends a huge chapter in my life and starts a new one. One where one day I can see the happy fairy tale I always wished for knocking on my front door. This chapter proves that love is the strangiest thing, because i wasn't looking for love when all this occured. I've realized what I"ve been missing in my life and where it was that I messed up in the past. My past mistakes arn't all my fault. I hit a very deep hole awhile ago and I'm paying for the mistakes I made during that time everyday.

Now I realize how happy I am in my life, and that excluding the recent truths I've found out this is the happiest I've been since I can remember. The last time I felt this sort of euphoria was the first time I held my daughter. I cannot wait to see what this progresses to and where I will be a year down the road, or 5 years down the road. My life is starting to look up and I can finally say how truely happy I am, and that I think I've found my soulmate. The one that I can laught with and tease with, the one that makes me laugh and aggrivates me at the same time. He is amazing and I could not ask for more.

I am truely blessed in many aspects of my life. God has blessed me now after all my turmoil and my mistakes. Now is my times to shine and be happy. I just hope that the one person who I've spoken about earlier finds the same happieness and love that i have found.

[NanaSue]

Aug. 5, 2009 at 1:13 AM

I wish you all the best, I wish I could feel this happiness in my life right now, but it seems my mistakes will rule my life for a very long time.