A typical day in my life

[whalewail]

This weekend I weighed in at 123, which is 5-10 pounds less than before my first pregnancy. I'm sure I haven't gained any weight at all and possibly even lost weight, since I weighed in at 128 in March, about a  month before I got pregnant. I haven't had much nausea this time around, and haven't thrown up once. So why the low weight?

I know the answer to that. I'm too busy to eat. I'm starving all the time and chasing after my children makes it impossible to eat and drink like I ought to. I wasn't too good at doing it the first two times, but now my schedule goes something like this.

Wake up, exhausted and desperately needing more sleep, but the kids need me so I drag myself out of bed anyway.
Get kids out of bed. Realize how hungry I am. Get dressed.
Change diapers, feed children, by the time I've got the second kid started on breakfast the first is done and screaming at me.
Take care of screaming child, during which the second starts screaming to get out. Let second child out five minutes after that one started screaming, which is six minutes too late and results in a huge tantrum I ignore because I'm exhausted and hungry and I can't fix it anyway due to lack of a time machine, and anyway, child 1 is getting into something, probably a breakfast food item I left on the table.
Clean up messes children made while eating before they decide to eat the leftovers off my dirty floor. Mentally add double A batteries to the shopping list of things for dh to pick up that night so I can swiffer someday.
Break up a fight, soothe the baby who is now screaming because she was pushed, touched, looked at funny, or just feels like raising a little hell.
Try to figure out how to get Guy to get off my lap/let go of my pants/leave me alone for two seconds so I can pee. Fail, he is screaming because Mama obviously doesn't love him anymore, that's another year of therapy he will have to go to when he gets older because of me.
Hunt down bad smell and attempt to get rid of it.
Make screaming baby a bottle and put her to bed, screaming.
Now I am the one who is screaming while I try to make myself an instant breakfast. "Guy, no touching! No buttons! Get down! Stop it! No, no, NO!!! Now look what you've done! What's your problem? Why can't you just play with your toys?" He either looks at my with large, solemn eyes, or hides behind his hands and starts to cry.
Cry because I hate myself when I get like this. Fight with Guy to keep him off my lap while I use my computer for ten minutes and drink my instant breakfast.
Avoid disaster as Guy tries to grab my glass so he can have a taste, or splash it all over my face three stooges style because my elbow is blocking his view when I try to take a drink.
Finish breakfast, drag laptop to bed where Guy snuggles with me, not pushing buttons but attempting to block all of my view of the screen if possible, or at least the link I want to click on or the last two paragraphs of the article I'm reading.
Guy decides to push some buttons and see what happens and either navigates away from the page I'm reading at the last second, or closes the whole web browser, or even restarts my computer. More yelling ensues.
After taking an hour to do what it should take fifteen minutes to do, give up and hunt down some lunch.
Feed Guy, finish whatever he doesn't.
After lunch is Guy's nap time, put him down in his bed. Toby is awake. Get her up and bring her to my bed, where I sit, watching her, trying desperately not to fall asleep.
Doze off. Toby wakes me up with a good, old fashioned hair pulling.
Get frustrated and put her back in her bed with another bottle and some toys, don't care that she's screaming and bury my head under the pillow to get half an hour of sleep.
Get an hour of sleep. Wake up feeling alert, but starved. Check on kids, they are both sleeping now. Feel guilty for being unable to play with my daughter for more than 30 minutes without crashing.
Search fridge for quick food, settle on either Gouda cheese, pickles, or leftover birthday cake from a couple of days ago.
Eat cold food while IMing dh, playing some Latte Land, catching up on blogs and webcomics and OH GOD THE FRESHDIRECT DELIVERY IS COMING TODAY!
Go through a cleaning frenzy to try and not look like a total slob.Move bags of garbage from entryway where dh is supposed to see them and take them out  on his way to work to the bathroom, same with flattened cardboard boxes from the last delivery two weeks ago.
Clean until delivery guy arrives, the bell wakes Guy and he starts screaming. Get him out of bed and hold im while signing for delivery and tipping, embarrassed because he has a smelly diaper and isn't wearing pants.
Put groceries away, flatten boxes and move garbage back to entryway. Suddenly remember that Guy needs a diaper change, feel guilty.
Guy doesn't want to get changed, pin him down with one hand while trying to change toxic diaper and control his furiously kicking legs with the other. Let go to put diaper out of his reach, he runs for it, laughing and naked. Chase him down and wrestle him into a clean diaper while we scream at each other.
Try to do some cleaning. Pick up toys while Guy throws them out of toy box again. Put cushions on couch and Guy pushes them back on the floor. Sweep up the living room and kitchen floors while Guy attempts to eat old cheerios that rolled into dusty corners long ago out of the dustpan.
Collapse on the couch, give up.
Guy sits next to me, I ask him where all the parts of his face are and he points at each one, trying to repeat the name of it. Try and think of another body part tot teach him after running through some he already knows; eyes, ears, nose, mouth, teeth, tongue, cheeks, hair, hands, tummy, belly button, knees, piggy toes...
Move on to fingerplays, he tries to follow along.
Sing all the fingerplays  I know, move on to the alphabet which he gives a heroic effert at singing along to (dee, tee, ee, dee, dee, dee, tee, aw, ess, tee, dee, dee, DEEEEEEEEE!).
Swell with pride, try to ignore the fact that he shows no interest in learning colors and the only shape he can name is circle (kow-kwaa!).
check on Toby, she's wake and has been playing alone in her bed as sliently as a ninja on a moonless night. Get her out of bed, change her diaper, and watch the happy reunion between my children, swell with pride at how much they love each other.
Happy reunion quickly turns into a fight over who gets to play with the Animal Train. Soothe screaming Toby and show her the piano, which she loves but only gets distracted by it for a few seconds before going back to the animal train.
Decide it's snack time, lock kids in their chairs and give them cookies and milk. Ignore screams to be let out when they're done for as long as possible because I'm too busy enjoying cold birthday cake (Hey someone's got to eat it, no use letting it get moldy!).
Let kids out, they play happily for awhile, dh comes home, kids swarm all over him like magots on a rotting steak, dh hides in bathroom for a few mintes, screaming commences, especially from Guy.
Ignore screaming as my nerves are shot, try and pretend I have a dinner planned out, pull a recipe out of my ass and hope it turns out good. Wash a load of dishes from my full sink before starting.
Dinner and a movie from Netflix, dh mercifully takes care of the kids until bedtime, which is about half an hour before dinner ends. Put kids to bed, avoid dirty dishes and hide on the Internet for a while.
End up online until late into the night, leave dishes until tomorrow and crash.
Lather, rinse, repeat endlessly.

Now, tell me honestly: Come January, how am I going to fit a newborn into this? My only hope is that the kids will be easier because they'll be older, though I know better than to expect it to work easily. God, please don't let me have anymore kids, at least not for a very long time!

[thegbogles]

Aug. 4, 2009 at 11:58 AM

Oh how I remember those days. I know this may sound impossible but enjoy every second it is over before you know it. Maybe when the baby gets here the two older ones will entertain each other for a while. Good Luck

[Kajenloca]

Aug. 5, 2009 at 7:51 AM

I had six kids in ten years...:) I remember those days! But, you have got to find the time to eat, especially being pregnant. Maybe pack yourself "meals" at night when the kids are sleeping or talk dh into doing it. Something you can just grab out of the fridge when you have a 1/2 second to yourself...;) This time will pass! And yes, your kiddos will be older and more independent when the baby comes. Hang on!

[whalewail]

Aug. 5, 2009 at 11:43 AM

Thanks for the encouragement. :) It's already a lot easier than when they were both under one! My ds especially is getting so good now, except when he throws tantrums. I think it helps that he's starting to pick up more words and understand more complex instructions.

(Original Poster)