Eating Crow . . . Again

[BarbaraJane]

Many years ago, when I was in school to be a cosmetologist, there was a girl (and for the life of me, I cannot remember her name) who came in with her tongue pierced one day.  Now this was so long ago and the whole tongue piercing thing was fairly new and I was just so baffled as to why anyone would ever, ever, ever want to mutilate themselves in such a fashion.  Her tongue was swollen and red.  She could hardly talk.  And I asked her why she chose to do that to herself.  As I recall her answer sounded something like this “dsh ith sthmtn I ahwahsh wahnded da duh.”  And that translated into, “This is something I always wanted to do.”  And I walked away, shaking my head at her complete stupidity.

A few years later, my nephew got his tongue pierced and I asked him why he did it.  “Just wanted to,” he replied.  And I have to say, he did not seem to be swollen or even sore. 

But the whole tongue piercing thing has continued to confuse me.  I have bitten my tongue before so hard that it bled and I cannot describe the pain of that.  And as more and more and more people started getting their tongues pierced, almost all of them declared that it did not hurt that bad or even at all. 

Liars.  All of them must be liars.  I just knew it had to hurt.  And I decided that whenever someone went to get a piercing in their tongue, the piercer must make them sign a contract swearing to never, ever admit that it hurt.  And I also decided that the repercussion of breaking that contract would probably be so severe - - something like having your family offed or something.  Yeah, that must be it.  A secret contract.  An I-Swear-It-Did-Not-Hurt contract.  And they probably had to sign it with their own blood.  Probably the blood that dripped out of their tongue.  Hahaha!  That had to be it!!

But how could that ever be proven???

I had to find a way.

So in an act of true heroism, I decided that I, myself, must blow the cover off the whole ugly mess of it all. 

That’s right.  Me - - the one who hates to bite her own tongue .  I was willing (after much contemplation) to go in there, sign that secret contract, get the piercing and then expose the whole tongue piercing ring.  Yep.  That’s just the kind of stand-up-gal I am.  Willing to sacrifice my own tongue for justice.

And so off to the piercing place I went.  But alas, they were closed because it was a Sunday. Hmph.  So Monday, I trotted up there again, but guess what?  The piercer was not in.  Hmph, again.  By Tuesday, I was so pumped up.  I was going to demand that SOMEBODY jam a needle and a barbell through my tongue, damn it. 

And guess what?

I swear to God it did NOT hurt.  No secret contract.  It just flat out did not hurt.  And the healing really is not that bad either.  Of course, I am a very quick healer.  So maybe it could be worse for someone else.  And I have refrained from playing with it in my teeth and manipulating it all over the place.  The worst part really, is just feeling like there is something in my mouth that is not food.  I can’t swallow it. 

 On a scale of all the pain I have had in my life, this is on the extreme low end.  But then, I have delivered four children, one of which was a c-section.  I have had more dental work than I care to discuss.  And I am so accident prone that pain is becoming sort of like a familiar companion for me.  This piercing might rank as slightly tender, perhaps uncomfortable a bit.  And today (which is only day two), I can hardly even notice it there at all.

Damnation.  Once again I have to eat crow and apologize to all the people I thought were lying about the tongue piercing experience.

So I am sending out my heart-felt apology to all the people I wrongly believed to be liars about the tongue piercing and also to all the piercers that I just assumed were sadistic pain inducers.

There.  Now I feel better.

[jamiemolihan]

Aug. 6, 2009 at 11:40 AM

LOL you are funny. Be careful with it though so that you don't hurt the enamal on your teeth.

[Lb128f]

Aug. 6, 2009 at 1:25 PM

LOL! Good for you! :-)

I'm glad it didn't hurt.

[homemommie]

Aug. 6, 2009 at 2:53 PM

I am surprised that it did not hurt. Wow, I would not go through all that to prove people wrong, lol. That would bug the crap out of me having to keep it clean and all. I remember working for this young teeenage girl once and she use to bang it around all the time on her teeth, very annoying and unattractive.