Why does it bother me?...

[SummerBall]

I often wonder, why it bothers me that:

1) Why does it bother me that people rarely post or respond to my profile page, when I do nothing to draw people to my page, except adding a bunch of pix?  It should be expected that pictures of my family and I are not very interesting to others!  But how does that explain not commenting on the animal pix?  Everyone loves animals and babies right?!!

2) Why does it bother me anyway about the lack of comments on my pix on my profile page because they DO get commented on...through Showdowns!

3) Why does it bother me that I have not met or tried to meet up with one single mom for a play-date on here; when I know that all I did was join a local group or two and did nothing else? Were the play-date get togethers supposed to happen magically?!! Play-dates were NEVER part of the original reason for joining this site, but lately I have began to wonder if they  might be fun!

4) Why does it bother me anyway, that I haven't had a playdate with people on here, if u all could be ax murderers etc  It is actually kind of dangerous to hang out with people you barely know and bring your children along for the ride!

5) Why DID it bother me when I was stick thin, had hardly any boobs and had to wear a push up bra? Now I am a little heavier, have large boobs and can wear whatever bra I want and I am still not happy!  Go figure.

6) Why does it bother me that I have to drive 30 minutes away to go out with my fiance, when we met IN PERSON?  It is not like I met him online and CHOSE to have a long distance relatiionships.  I have experienced that before and would never sign up for that job again!  Shouldn't I just be happy that I have a fiance that I love???

7) Why does it bother me that sometimes I think I love him more than he loves me; and wish he would yearn to be a step-dad, when his actions often show that he does not want to be one.  Aren't males supposed to want to experience fatherhood?  Especially when they are pushing 40 already with no children???

Do all these things that really "bother" me truely exist?  Or are they just maginified and tweaked through my brain?  All my perceptions could be so off, that I am living in an Alice in Wonderland type of world, and everyone else involved in my life lives in another....real...parallel world that just entertiwines with mine MOST of the time.  That would explain why people feel that I am crazy and that my liberal views on life are just wierd, and not worth exploring.

*sigh* *sulks* *pinches herself* *gets blood rushing back through her body and head*

THERE I feel a little better!  I should journal more often, because it really does feel wonderful!!

Written by me, for me. hehehe