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I'm sorry, but...
- Aug 10, 2009 at 5:38 PM
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- Comments (10) Total Views (176) Everyone can see this journal post.
If your child is a compulsive biter.. keep them the hell off the playground.
We went to the mall today... I needed a haircut, so DH came with, brought the kids to enjoy the air conditioned playground.. and I went off to get my snip snip which went... HORRIBLY, but thats another story.
When I got done, I came down to the play area and sat down with DH... I hear this mom yell "NO! Dont you bite her! NO BITE!" at her kid. The "Biting victim"? MY DAUGHTER. He bit her ear.
She came over, "mommy he bit me!" I checked her.. she was OK. Wasnt even red.. but REALLY? The kid was apparently BITING every child that came within a few feet of him! He bit my son. He bit my daughter. He bit some other kid.. and meanwhile the mom is just SITTING there saying "No bite! Do you need a spank?" NO.. he needs to be bit back, lady! See how he likes it!
or better yet.. keep your damn kid away from other children until he learns not to bite! I dont CARE if thats "unfair".. its UNFAIR to let your child run around biting everyone elses kids.
Comments:
If they bite, if they hit, if they kick, if they treat a dining establishment like it's a playground ...
Yes, lots of reasons to keep them home.
Of course, the better solution is to parent. To teach, to create and enforce rules, to allow them to learn consequences, to hold them to high standards.
But if you can't do that? Yes, keep them home. Other people don't need to be putting up with ill-mannered little monsters. Not at all.
Wow...if that had been my kid biting their ass would have been grass and I would have been the lawnmower...after 1 kid! And then they would have been taken home! I can't stand it when moms sit there and yell threats at their kids and do nothing...and we wonder why there are so many kids growing up committing crimes...
The mother should have taken her kid home if he doesn't play well with others. Just sitting on her butt and saying "No" doesn't do any good. He needed to be removed immediately. I'm sorry your little ones were bit.
I can't say that I really agree with just keeping a kid at home until they "learn". I have no idea about that child, but my sons autism causes him to have behaviors sometimes. Thankfully he has not been a biter but I know a lot of kids that are and my son is a hitter. We might just stay in the house until he's 18 and never leave if I want to make 100% sure that he won't ever hit another child.
BUT that is why when my son is playing with other kids I am there making sure that he doesn't hit/bite/whatever to someone else. I don't ever have my butt parked on a park bench. I don't agree with biting back or hitting back or any of that stuff, but my son still gets disciplined and he understands that he's not supposed to be doing that.
I'm sorry that your daughter got bit, truly. But honestly the reality when they're this age is that once in a while SOMEONE is going to get hit, or bit, or kicked no matter how well people are parenting. Comes with the toddler territory. But if he was biting every kid in sight then yeah they probably needed to leave for a while.
Sorry that was a REALLY long comment. I'm tired and I rambled. LOL.
I guess I should have been more clear that Im not saying he should stay "home" but after the first bite, she should have been standing right next to him saying no.. and if he did it again, he should have left. Once is a mistake.. Twice is too much... Six or seven times is crossing the line. It wasnt so much the act that irritated me as the mom doing nothing about it except yell across a crowded playground... but I totally get where you are coming from Katie :)
Yeah I know that feeling TOTALLY. Of it not being the behavior really but the fact that a parent is doing nothing about it. It's irritating.
What truly pisses me off: "Do you need a spank?" Meanwhile, the child ignores her and goes on happily munching away at the flesh of other little people. Did she really think he would say "Oh yeah mommy, sure I need a spank!"
YES, he needs discipline, you dumbass! Duh. My daughter has been known to bite on rare occasion, but once is all it takes and she is leaving wherever she is to go somewhere else. She needst to know that the behavior is unacceptable.
Kids need to be taught, not asked what they need. Come ON, people!
As the mother of a former biter I must say that I was relieved to hear your edit after aurorabunny chimed in. I don't recall ever having a time when my dd just went around biting child after child but even with the little bit of biting that she did, it was very hard on me.
Other mom's were really harsh and I was the mom that would leave the playground after one bite. I remember it as a very embarrassing time in my life when I felt very alone simply because I wouldn't bite my child back. She was one and a half and I didn't feel that was the solution. She didn't start biting until another child was biting her.
Now she is nine and of course she doesn't bite any more lol but ds just turned two and after my friends daughter has bit him over twenty times, he bit my nine year old (and hard) two days ago and yesterday he bit a friend. I hope and pray I can nip it in the bud this time some how some way but dang, it is really hard to be the mom of a biter.
Just wanted to give you the flip side from a mom who is very consistent with discipline and doesn't mess around trying to appease my children. I am sorry that your children were bit but I am relieved to know it's OK with you to take my children out in public now.
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Sadly, nowadays the majority of "parents" don't give a damn about the things their offspring do that are unfair to the rest of society.
You're completely right - but it extends farther than just biting. If your child cannot behave in socially acceptable ways, then that child belongs at home, not out in society. To inflict these little brats on the rest of society is what's unfair.
- jinxandjoy
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