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I'm Sick Of Feeling Guilty For Wanting A Baby!
- Aug 12, 2009 at 4:01 PM
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- Comments (5) Total Views (206) Everyone can see this journal post.
My husband and I have been together for about five years now. I'm not going to lie- it's been a rollercoaster ride and I wouldn't have it anyother way. As we all know, marriage is hard, and mine is no exception. We live, learn and grow on a daily basis. And I'm so glad we're doing it together.
We have a son, Cash, who will be turning three this October. We're ready for another baby, and I can't help but to feel guilty about it. Here's why-
My hubby's sister and I don't have the best relationship. Actually, I often feel that we hate eachother. I've always been the kind of girl who doesn't take crap from anyone, especially when that someone doesn't know me. She has said things ranging from me wanting to marry her brother for my green card (come on, I'm from CALIFORNIA!!) to me being a horrible mother. She constantly puts the family against me and spreads lies. Which is fine, considering I don't care whether they like me or not. The issue I have is them making me feel guilty for wanting another baby.
His sister is thirty years old. She's had boyfriends that never stick around- and has been told that she might not be able to have any children. The woman is 6'3 and weighs less that 100lbs and she wonders why she wouldn't be able to carry a child. Are you kidding me? Anyways, we recently expressed our feelings about wanting another child to my mother in law and she was shocked- and not in a good way. She basically forbade us from having another child until her daughter had a baby. Can you believe that? I still can't.
Why should I feel guilty about wanting to expand my family? Why am I being asked what birth control I'm on, just to make sure I don't get pregnant? Why should I put our life on hold to benefit someone who doesn't even want anything to do with us? Does this sound fair to anyone? It doesn't to me.
I am so sick of feeling like a disease around my hubby's family. When we have family get togethers, you can tell that they don't WANT to talk to, they just do it to be semi-nice. I'm sick of feeling like such an outcast. I'm sick of the comments regarding my nationality, especially when they ask, "You're not planning on having a ton of kids, like Mexican's usually do". How am I supposed to take that?
And yes, my husband does defend me- but sometimes it causes strain in our marriage. I can't help but to feel guilty for their once awesome relationship- which is now in the gutter. All because of me.
I need advice.
Comments:
"Guilt"? I'd say that guilt is the wrong sentiment here.
Keep your bedroom and family planning talk between you and your hubby and do what the TWO of you want to do. The lives of your in-laws should have no affect on your family planning.
Go make that baby!
That is horrible. I would focus you and you and hubby and decide between the two of you if you are ready for baby no 2. If you are, go for it, forget the rest his family, do what is best for you, hubby and your son!
If you and Hubby want another baby then you should go for it. Its ya'lls life and no one else has to live it but you. And if they are unhappy about it well take some damn antidepressants and get over it. :)
Girl that is your buisness!! They can't tell you what you can and can't do!! Go for it!!
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Your right it's not fair that they asked you to wait to expand your family and no I wouldn 't if I was you. The faster the better would be my motto bc of them, but then my inlaws know what a bitch I am. You shouldn't feel guilty about the ignorance. And it is their ignorance that has caused them to astanged their relationship is!! Good Luck on TTC!!
- RedBlaze
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