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Pony Up For ZM!
- Aug 12, 2009 at 4:39 PM
- By
- Comments (7) Total Views (165) Everyone can see this journal post.
In 12 short days I will go back to school, leaving my dear sweet ZM in charge of this zoo. His responsibilities will include but due to the crazy nature of life will not be limited to:
Schooling the monkeys and knuckling the heads of certain monkeys who reallyreally don't want to learn how to write the number six or read stuff that doesn't involve shark intestines.
Ferrying my poor mother to and from a slew of medical appointments because her shoulder replacement spontaneously detatched and now she needs a shoulder replacement replacement.
Chud Scrubbage of all sorts.
Cooking the nine meals a day that the monkeys want, and the three meals a day that they don't want.
Walking a number of dogs a number of miles while they find the absolutely perfect spot to drop that deuce.
Answering a bazillion phone calls and saying "I'm sorry, but my wife was the doormat and I'm not going to <insert great ugly imposition here> because I have meals to throw away, chud to scrub and dogs to drag around."
Answering another bazillion phone calls and saying "I'm sorry, but my wife was the tutor/dog trainer/tie-dyer/fiddle player/problem solver/shoulder to cry on and I really can't help you because I don't know how or I don't care, whichever applies to your situation."
Listening to my mother bellow about my sister or my father, whichever one happens to be telling her that she "sounds mean" today.
Finding people's shoes, which is a full-time job between finding ones that fit Monkey Feet, buying them, telling the monkeys that they have them on the wrong feet, reclaiming them from under beds, sofas, tables and out of Dog Mouths, and realizing that Monkey Feet grow several sizes during the night so it's time for new ones!
Crying in a fetal position under the table when someone tracks what the dog did in the yard across every floor in the house. Again.
So, if anyone has any advice they'd like to pass along to my dear, sweet ZM to help him out so he doesn't hang himself in the oven 47 hours after he takes over, we'd both really appreciate it.
Comments:
I totally think that ZM will rise to the occasion. He has my complete and total belief that he can DO it!
As to advice... um. Don't kill 'em! Just walk away.
And, "because I said so" is TOO an answer. Don't back down, stick to yer guns. They SMELL weakness, and will exploit it shamelessly.
Make them help clean! That is the ONLY way to stay truly sane. And right now they're young enough that cleaning is actually fun.
Remember, time is fleeting. They will never be the ages they're at ever again. As frustrating as it can sometimes be, enjoy. every. good. moment.
*puff puff* Just think, ZM... your reward will be lots of Liz- explaining in full nurse-like detail, just exactly what she's going to do with what and where... and if you're lucky... in a nursey uniform. :0) *puff puff*
Dear ZM, don't try to be Liz. Just try to keep everyone alive. Everything else will work out.
Sorry if I'm underestimating ZM, that's merely the advise that I have to leave for my own bumbling other half...
I love Liz.
I know that ZM is up to the task. I also agree with Jenna. In a word, delegate.
The trick is to get a routine down and to make sure the children know what is expected of them on a daily basis. You are basically training yourself out a of a job by teaching your kids to do things for themselves.
I would suggest that before you start school you and ZM sit down with the kids and tell them how things are going to change and how ZM will need thier help to keep the house clean and things running smoothly. I would even suggest that you put up a chore chart or something to that effect. Show it to the kids and explain it as something fun and new so that they can see how much they are helping.
You get a smiley face drawn next to a chore everytime you do it properly and a certain number of smiles equals a treat of some sort. It could be money for Nigel or something as simple as a trip to Chick-Fil-A or pizza for dinner. Whatever the kids will get excited about.
Get a shoe rack and make the kids responsible for taking their shoes off at the door and putting them on the rack. Makes it a lot easier to locate monkey shoes.
Make the kids clean up thier dishes. Make Nigel unload the dishwasher, take out trash, fold and put away his laundry, make his bed, and anything else age appropriate you can think of.
MJ can put away her laundry but might be a bit young to fold it, she can put her own dishes in the sink or dishwasher, and she can be rewarded with smiles on her chart for doing things without help like getting dressed, brushing teeth, soaping up and washing in the shower, ore anything else that you have to help her with a regular basis that really, she should be able to pretty much do on her own by now. We are doing this same thing with Brenden right now. He is adjusting to the fact that mommy is not putting the tooth paste on his brush anymore or turning on the water in the shower for him anymore. Getting kids thier age who are on the cusp of big kidness to start doing those little things for themselves that you have just gotten into the habit of doing for them because gosh darnit, it's quicker and easier, eliminates a surprising amount of work.
Get your evening routine down. If it's dinner, showers, brush your teeth, and settle into bed to watch a little TV or read, stick with that. I would also suggest that you have an end of day clean up. Before dinner or after dinner or maybe after showers do a "House Check." With ZM helping and supervising have the kids run through the house and pick up any toys, books, cups, or video games that are out of place and put them away. Then they can do a quick clean up of thier rooms. This will be a huge help in daily maintenence if done regularly.
Something that I did when we visited that MJ really liked was I told her we would see who could clean up the most, her or Brenden, while I counted down from 100. She thought that was fun and turned into a cleaning machine.
I will add anything else as I think of it. Tell ZM that he is free to call me or Jay anytime he is about to blow a gasket for advice and/or venting.
Remeber to tell ZM- what goes around really does come around, so keep track, & tally up.....
My DH kept the kids alone, while I went to England as an exchange student for 3 months- they were 5 & 7 at the time I think....
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Awww poor ZM - and here I thought that women were the weaker sex.
He can commiserate with Chris, who recently had the honor of caring for my 2 monkeys every evening while I am at work. There was a minor breakdown at this house on Thursday including a very sad sounding e-mail of "please please please come home"
- sapient
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