Ramblings about being your own advocate and my midwives closing down.

[truthrowan]

My favorite midwife told me Monday, when I had to visit the hosital because of a horrible gallstone attack, "Emily, you may just be too nice for your own good. You've got to be more of your own advocate." In the middle of puking my guts out, I had looked at her to apologize and ask how she was. She asked my husband "Is she always like this?" His response. "Most of the time." I had suffered through two or three other attacks since being diagnosed July 19th at the hospital, and not taken anything for vomiting or pain, or asked for it for any of the attacks. No one had offered it the first time, so I thought there was nothing they could do. But my last attack before Monday lasted over 14 hours, 14 hours of my being curled on my bed, counting my breaths just to get through the pain and vomiting until I burst blood vessels in my eyes and face. Heavy makeup was required to hide it. This last attack was a LOT more painful, and I knew I couldn't deal with 14 hours again.

At some point later, my civility while in pain led to a discussion (after I'd had an IV for the pain and a shot for the vomiting, and an IV for the dehydration) about being your own advocate. I trust my midwives to advocate for me, in my best interests. That doesn't mean I shouldn't still be my own advocate, she told me. Especially since the midwives I visit are being downsized from the clinic staff (the ONLY clinic that has a sliding scale or midwives, prenatal care, and accepts medicaid for 60 miles). That breaks my heart, and I'm desperately looking for a way to save them It's a little over 200,000 dollars in budget differences that are ending their practice, and these wonderful women will be out of work. The city can spend half a million on "beautification" the county can spend a million on bike lanes and nature trails (that NO ONE USES) but we can't scrape together a 250,000 to save medicine for low income women and medicaid patients? When they are gone, I won't have anyone to trust to advocate for me. Neither will the other low income women who are losing these women, who care and do so much.

My midwife told me how she wished more folks were like me, doing their research and caring, not just blindly trusting. This is a woman I greatly admire and respect, someone whom I wish my own mother was like, so that meant a lot to me. Just thinking about them being gone, I'm crying. She told me I was one of their favorites, so that's why they had the reoorter call me when they wrote the article about the practice closing. The reporter was an idiot, who misspelled my name, didn't ask if I worked, or why I chose the midwives, and then wrote I was a SAHM mom (I'm a working Mom and college student, six days a week for the last 3 months, sometimes 7, so there is a BIG difference, and until a few weeks ago the ONLY income for my family) and they haven't published my letter to the editor correcting that or expanding on what I said.

Jan, the midwife, said that I was articulate and bright, and how much they'd miss me. How I shouldn't let my need to be nice all the time keep me from asking for what I need or being my own advocate. I'm a firm believer that there is no excuse for bad behavior. Which she says is a bad thing sometimes, especially in medicine. I know she's right. But I also know I can trust her and the other midwives to respect my wishes and look out for me. I don't trust other doctors.

My sister and her husband tried to push for their sons feeding tube to be taken out for a stretch of time so that he would HAVE to learn to eat on his own, not get it the easy way. The hospital was sending home babies much sicker than him whose parents didn't have good insurance, but keeping him there because he wouldn't take down 70cc's of formula in less than 30 minutes by mouth, at which point they gave it to him through his feeding tube. The doctors told them "No, you don't want to risk him getting dehydrated." Isn't that why they had the IV, in case he got dehydrated? He wasn't learning to eat because he'd get full without work. They kept him there two weeks, while they sent babies on heart monitors and breathing tubes home (babies whose families didn't have insurance or were on medicaid, and this a not for profit hospital). They didn't advocate strongly enough for themselves, so they drove over 100 miles round trio a day to be with their son in the hospital. Their now pediatrician says that was ridiculous, and they shouldn't have gone through that.

*Sigh* I don't know, I'm tired and only two days from my due date, and heart broken over my midwives. They are down from a staff of 9 to only 5, two of whom are part time. If I go past due, they are okay with it, but I CAN NOT Go more than 1.5 weeks past due or else I'll have to find someone else for my Post partum appointment. The last day they are open is September 30th. l keep looking for some sort of funding, meanwhile I'm playing the lottery like usual and praying for a miracle. They are such a worthy cause, and I'd love to be able to save their practice and their jobs.

[SRiveroC]

Aug. 14, 2009 at 11:50 AM

Oh hun, I'm sorry about your midwives, but I'm more worried about you. I'll be glad when that baby is born, and you're not suffering anymore.

*hugs*