THE GREAT TOOTHPASTE ADVENTURE

[SillyJessi]

   This morning there was a Great Toothpaste Adventure. 

I woke up at 7:30 am with my eyes burning, an immediate sense of dread overwhelmed me along with a pungent minty-freshness.  I don't remember much of waking up.  Just recall standing in the hall staring eyeball to eyeball with Azzo. 

He was sticky and Fresh Mint Blue from his neck to his toes.  I had no idea toothpaste could be applied so thickly, with such perfect and complete coverage!  A good 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick!  He was Blue.  Not blue-ish, BLUE.  I followed the blue smudges on the carpet into the bathroom, which looked like a crime scene, only instead of blood, it was Advance White (with extra fresh something gel) EVERYWHERE.  The mangled and bruised tube was decapitated on the floor, its poor contents smooshed entirely out and it too, poor tube, was solid blue. 

How can I describe the smell of such carnage?  It wasn't just a smell.  I TASTED it, with my entire body.  My eyes clamped shut from the tears, the stinging cold burn.  My hands clapped over my ears.  Did you know you can HEAR that much mint?  It sounds like something that could shatter glass.  I dropped to my knees and wailed.  The blue was closing in on me.  There, on the walls, the counter tops, the floor, the cabinet doors, the carpet, the toilet, the tub, the laundry in the corner, the mirror, the very ceiling.  To top it off a perfectly coiled, ice-cream style blob in the sink as if to taunt me.

After cleaning everything (children included - I can't even IMAGINE bathing in toothpaste like that), I went out side and smoked a cigarette.

A non-mentholated cigarette.

[metrojosie]

Aug. 19, 2009 at 4:25 PM

Ah, yes. The great toothpaste escapades. I, too, have been there.

Just remember, it WILL happen again!

I think we went through something like four tubes of toothpaste in about two months. Thank god I think he's outgrown it now, however, we have another rapidly approaching that age, and she already has a great fondness for brushing her teeth!

[chocolatluver]

Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:03 AM

LMFAO~!!