A Blast From The Past: I almost didn't recognize you with your clothes on.

[ErikaRobin]

Everyone has old boyfriends.  We run into them here and there.  "Mason" was sort of an old boyfriend, although we never actually dated.  He was a friend who had a huge crush on me and while I was dating someone else, he stood like a predator in the wings and listened to stories of every argument my boyfriend and I had.  Then he'd tell me how HE'D treat me if we were dating.  He was 18 and full of pipe dreams (read: blowing smoke). 

Fast forward a bit to the summer after my freshman year in college, post break-up with the jerky boyfriend and there is my friend, waiting to swoop me up and carry me off into the sunset.  He changed over the year and I was suddenly much more attracted to him than before and interested in being more than friends (as he said, "finally"). 

So, we start "sort of dating" and decide to have "kinda like, you know...sex" and having known him for four years already, I knew he was like, a...you know...virgin, whereas I...you know...like, wasn't. 

So it comes down to it and...he loses his nerve and cannot get. It. Up.  :(   Poor dood felt the pressure to perform in front of me with my ever so worldly ways and he got stage fright. (Not good for a theater major.) 

*shrivel* 

He was so very embarrassed.  The kicker was that he tried to explain in a phone call to me the next week (we didn't talk until then) that he thought his Technical Difficulty was because, he "just wasn't attracted to me anymore".  C'mon, dood.  He pined over me for a year while I dated someone else.  He described in detail his dreams of the day we would be married and have 2.5 kids and breakfast in bed every Saturday morning. He was still an 18 year old boy and I was a hot little 18 year old number then...who was ready to make him my first "conquest".  (Okay, I really did think I loved him, but imagine me a conquistador!)

So, with me feeling rejected and him feeling mortified, we lost our friendship...or what I thought was a friendship, weird and covetous as it was on his part and sexually power-drunk as it was on my part. 

I happened to see this blast from my past at Unpack Your Backpack night (and I'm sure he saw me).  He and his wife must have moved to the school district recently and our kids are going to be in the same class this year. 

I felt super creepy and weird seeing him in my daughter's class and thinking that the last time I saw him we were both much younger, MUCH thinner...

and naked. 

Talk about awkward.

[Guinhyvar]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 10:54 AM

That would be so weird. I wonder about that sometimes, if I ever actually saw one of my old flames... with their kids... and wife...

I would be thinking "ohmygodsitotallysawhimnaked!" and never be able to talk to him.

[parrishsky]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 10:59 AM

It's amazing what they come up with as an excuse, what a prick. It's going to be awkward having to see him and his lovely wife (snark) but seriously for him a tad more don't ya think?? I sure do. Certainly no rocket in his pocket....

[used2chaos]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 11:16 AM

Awkward.  When you two do finally make eye contact, and you will, you should send a dirty little smile his way paired with a wink.  Score 1 for Erika, 0 for Mr. Technical Difficulty.

[Fistandantalus]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 11:21 AM

Dood, I actually had a similar experience a few years ago!  I ran into a guy I deflowered in his super-funky dorm room (on top of his American Flag bedspread, gotta love college morals) when we were both 19.  "Guy" was not uberthrilled to run into Little Old Me as I happened upon him before he had reconstructive surgery on his partly-mutilated-by-botched-circumcision dangle.  And I'm guessing that his wife, who was there, had absolutely no idea that her husband once had a negative penis size. 

[KTMOM]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 11:51 AM

Yeah, that would be a bit strange!  

And now,  since you said "conquest" I am going to have this song stuck in my head for the rest of the day...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9e29HVTRic4

[MelanieLouise]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 11:55 AM

Oh golly, I have a male friend just like that.

Except his mom and mine are friends, so we see each other at all the family gatherings and such. Not pleasant.

[KelleyP77]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 12:09 PM

That's really awkward. I probably would have turned 5 shades of red if it'd had been me. I don't think any of my exboyfriends live in my city, so I'm thankful for the small favor of not having to run into them at my kids' school. Are you planning on just ripping that bandaid off and going up to him the next time you see him? If not, I really like Lori's suggestion. LOL

[cleanaturalady]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 12:23 PM

Your life is just so funny isn't it?  I just love these little things that happen to you and I think - only Eriak.  This could only happen to you.  What are the odds?

[cleanaturalady]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 12:28 PM

Your life is just so funny isn't it?  I just love these little things that happen to you and I think - only Eriak.  This could only happen to you.  What are the odds?

I KNOW!   I think I'm cursed.  ;)  

I don't have a plan exactly, as to what I'm going to do when faced with the prospect of actually talking to him.  What do I say??  "You've got two boys?  Oh, so it WORKS!"  ???

(Original Poster)

[logansmomma2007]

Aug. 20, 2009 at 12:47 PM

This is priceless.