The Idea for Lipstick Wisdom and My Son has Learning Issues

[LipstickWisdom]

(Why is it that the picture "captured" on the video is always unflattering??)

 I would like to share with you where the concept behind Lipstick Wisdom came from and, along with that, part of my story of having a child with learning issues.

I have been involved with technology since the 80s.  I was a computer science major at William and Mary and then was a software and database programmer for a defense contractor in Washington DC.  I also got an advanced degree in computer science from graduate school as well as a MBA.  After grad school, I invested in start-up technology companies for 15 years.  I am really good at digging up information on the web.

When I need to purchase something or hear the latest news or technology trends, I go online.  I love the web and am on it all the time.  The web did not serve me well, however, when I learned that my son has learning issues.  I looked online and the information available was pretty limited.  What I could find was pretty clinical.  In my emotional state, it was hard to absorb the information in the way it was presented and I wanted so much more than was available.  I wanted to not only find good information on language processing learning issues but I wanted to connect with other woman who had handled a child with similar issues and get advice and information from them.

The learning issues with my son are a challenge.  I know that there are so many worse things that I could be facing and dealing with regarding my son, but I have to admit I worry about him and working with him through his issues is challenging.  I am always seeking information and advice but I could also use some emotional support.  That is what Lipstick Wisdom is all about.  I know we are not there yet but I hope to build to a place where women can find the information, advice, community and support that they need regarding their life challenges and opportunities.

So my son.  His learning issues are language processing based.  He has receptive language issues -- meaning that he has trouble getting the information into his long term working memory (receptive language issues usually involve short term working memory issues).  He also has expressive language issues -- getting the information out through word retrieval and expressive language.

I had signs that my son had learning issues early on.  First, he had delayed speech development.  This is not always a sign of learning issues but it is a strong signal.  I also had trouble teaching him his colors.  It took two years and a lot of practice including using a bowl full of colorful balls when practicing.  I thought he was color blind!!  I even took him to the county to be testing for color blindness.  It turns out that color blindness is an inherited trait, a fact a missed during my research.  So he was not color blind.  The county ran other tests as well.  He showed signs of development delays but nothing extreme.  It turns out that for a county to take action, your child has exhibit SIGNIFICANT delays.  I did not know this either - I would have taken earlier action had I understood this as well.

Finally, he was doing so poorly in preschool that I started pushing for testing.  I received significant resistance from those around me -- he is a boy, he is little, and my favorite, do you want him labeled as a retard!!  It was really tough emotionally.  Yet I pressed on because I knew that something was wrong.  I really could have used some outside support.  My advice to any woman who thinks their child has learning issues is to get your child tested.  Ignore everyone who gives you reasons not to do it, if you think some thing is wrong ... there probably is.  Trust your gut instinct.

Development testing can be done through either your local county or your school district if the child is school age.  There are also private testing options but they are expensive.

I choose to have my son testing both privately (through a local organization called Bryn Mawr Child Study Institute in Bryn Mawr, PA) as well as through the school district.  The testing was not easy.  Both the private testing and the school district testing require multiple sessions.  The school district got pretty upset with me as well.  According to the school district, having multiple testing done at the same time skews the results of the testing due to the "practice effect".  I still don't understand this.  In most situations with major implications, it is wise to get two opinions.  In addition, with my son's learning issues, there is no "practice effect".  We worked through it but be aware that the public testing may have objections with you doing private testing at the same time.

The results of the tests indicated that my son has language processing learning issues as I noted above.  We were getting him private speech therapy and occupational therapy (most health care plans give you at least a partial reimbursement).  The private testing entity recommended several schools in the local area that have teaching programs specifically geared to language processing learning issues.  Our speech therapist gave an interesting recommendation.  Because our public school offered half-day kindergarten, she suggested that we send him to the public school for their half-day session and send him to the private school for the other half of the day.  We did that and it was fantastic!!!  By going to both programs, he was going to be taught with techniques that most enabled him to learn (which, by the way, has increased his confidence dramatically) as well as get the socialization that the public kindergarten offered.  We went from a boy who cried going to preschool every day and did not speak to anyone, children and teachers included, to a confident little boy who had friends and willingly went to school every day. 

It was a dramatic and welcome change.  One of the key elements in addressing learning issues is that the child is in a success based environment where they are reinforced for their achievements.  Learning is still a challenge but we are slowly but surely making progress. 

So that is my story regarding recognizing my son's issues, getting him tested and starting down the path of success. I will share more advice on learning issues on a future video.

The bottom line here is that it was a very difficult time for me personally. A website that offered my information and support would have really helped me out.  So here is the start of my personal story on working with a son with family issues.   Can you share your story and your advice.  Together we can build a tremendous resource and help out many many women facing similar situations. 

Thank you so much for listening!!

Warmly,
Karen