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English is a crazy language
- Aug 20, 2009 at 9:29 PM
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Let's face it -- English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a single annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites?
How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?
How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown?
Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?
Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable?
And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
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I do not know who wrote this it was sent to me...
Comments:
Wow, all of this is soo true. But, you know the thing that really bothers me about the english language.....silent letters. Why can't knife just be nife???
ok....let me try this again. Knife should be nif. See what I mean about silent letters??
LOL...cute! And, very true! Thanks for sharing!
My mother used to teach English as a second language, and one of the children she worked with once asked her why English was such a confusing language. There are as many exceptions to the rules as there are rules, so it is exceedingly frustrating for someone who's mother tongue is a highly organized language.
I agree with the k in the knife example, but the e at the end is necessary because it tells us whether the i should be a short or long vowel. Nif and nife aren't pronounced the same way.
Actually, the reason for variations between American and British English spellings is because Henry Webster (author of Webster's dictionary) went through the English language and systematically "Americanized" by removing remnants of other languages and unnecessary letters. E.g., in BrE they write programme, but we write program. He did this in the early 1800s.
actually mexican hamburgers have ham and avocado YUMM lol
Aug. 22, 2009 at 7:10 AM
actually mexican hamburgers have ham and avocado YUMM lol
I love avocado on my burgers,,,,,
Here's a little English history. This is a bastard language. A culmination of so many other languages that it'll make your head spin. It's more evolved than Creol but came about in the same way. You have the languages that the British tribes spoke. Then you have a roman invasion. Then a norman (french invasion). Then throw in some vikings for good measure. Now, transplant a good portion of the population across the ocean where it will encounter the langauge of the Indian natives, Spanish and more French. Throw in some Anfrican tribal words and a sprinkle of Yiddish. There you have it, a language that makes absolutly no sense.
The english language is def. one of the most difficult languages. I was just trying to explain to my six year old the other day the difference between to, two, too and there/their, hare/hair, red and read etc etc etc. She told me it was silly LOL.........
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