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I want to freeze time, right this minute.
- Aug 21, 2009 at 1:54 PM
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- Comments (17) Total Views (385) Everyone can see this journal post.
I can't believe that my little boy is starting school on Monday. As excited as I am that he has the opportunity to experience this program, I am so full of dread at the same time. So much so that I really haven't even been thinking about it very much but I'm realizing that I can't do that for very much longer.
With very rare exception, Brody hasn't spent a day away from home (or from me) in his entire life. I can't believe that we won't be spending our mornings here anymore, eating breakfast together and running around the house playing. I'm scared to have to worry about things like the flu, and hits and bites from other kids and him falling down on the playground. Although I know I can't do this, so much of me wants to just call off school entirely and keep my boy here in a bubble with me forever.
His new therapists and teachers seem so nice. There will be 6 adults in his classroom at all times and only 5 children (including him). That ratio is amazing and I know it. At any given time if I'm not IN the classroom with Brody, I will be able to see what he's doing from the "observation room". All of this to comfort me and still I'm so terrified. Terrified of sending my little boy off to school when he has no real way to tell me what he is feeling or what his day was like and especially terrified of handing him off to a total stranger on that first day.
Ugh, I'm tearing up just thinking about it. I guess everyone has this day eventually. I have just always felt like Brody needed me and "extra protection" more than other kids, and well honestly he usually does. I hope I bring enough tissues to use in that observation room.
Comments:
caydens first day of school was monday. like brody, he had never been away from me..the only time besides one night when he was like one, was when i went to the hospital to have colton..the first day he LOVED it..its his 5th day and he cries when i drop him off, but when i go get him, he is all excited to tell me everything he did..brody will have a blast!
You lovely, lovely woman, it will be okay. Your fears are normal, of course you are terrified! I would be too, especially because he can't tell you how he's feeling. But I bet you will know anyway...as will his teachers and therapists. They will know if he is doing okay or not, and they will tell you.
This is so what I went through with my twins, and with Ashlyn, and will go through with Jack. It's hard being a mommy, hard to love them so much it hurts, harder still to let them out into the world. (((HUGS))) I would sit and hold your hand all day on Monday if I could, ya know. Love you.
Hugs! This is the first of many teary-eyed school days to come.
There is a quote that I love that pretty much sums up what it is to be a mom,
“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”
The first few days will be rough for you, but I truly believe that you have chosen a fantastic school for Brody and that he will do well there. =)
I remember being behind that window , Honey it is hard , you are going to see so much that is going to help you to help him . Think about it that way ,, Now don't do what I did ,, You must leave don't stand there and watch the whole day ,, Force yourself to let go . you have to .. He will be more then ok with all of the aids and the school sounds wonderful ,, Open up those wings honey and let him fly . Kinda like the eagles do ,, They drop there young and just before they hit the ground they forget to spread there wings there Momma picks them up . But you have to let them go in order for them to learn to fly .. Good luck sweetie .. hugs and loves ..
Katie, I understand your feelings, but I'm also so excited to (virtually) begin this journey with Brody! I am so looking forward to the stories of his discoveries about himself and the world around him. It's going to be wonderful.
awww Katie.. It will be alright. You are such an awesome mom and you are making big sacrifices to make sure that he is going to a great school and it will be so good for him, and for you. Of course how you are feeling is totally natural, and we have all been through it, or will go through it at some point, but it will be OK. ((hugs))
HUGS!!!!! *teary eyed with you*
Gosh I know the feeling! My son isn't old enough for school yet, but now they make him to go his therapy classes all by himself. I have a window I can watch through...but I can't come in there. It's so hard not to rush in there to comfort him when he gets frustrated. But, it's good for him to know that mommy's not the only "good guy" in the world. =) I'm sure Brody will do great! I can't wait to hear how it goes. Keep your head up knowing that your little boy is going to get a chance to make some new friends and learn some new things. Just wait until the holidays when he brings you his little art projects just for you. =D
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I think every mom feels this way about the very first day of school, special needs or not.
*hugs*
It's gonna be AWESOME! He'll love it!
- tiny_mama
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