People are always saying to never co-sleep or that it should be stopped very young cause it leads to a bad habit. What exactly makes it a bad habit? Why are there these magic numbers where co-sleeping is suddenly bad? How is a 6 month old too old to co-sleep while a newborn isn't? How is a toddler too old to co-sleep while a baby isn't? How is something that is nothing but beneficial labeled a bad habit at all? For one, it's not a habit. Adults sleeping in bed is our routine. Not a habit. Babies/toddlers sleeping in bed is just the same. Then there's this bad word. There's no bad to co-sleeping. Just a little research would tell you all the benefits. It's UNPREFFERED by many, but not bad. It's almost always those who've never co-slept who say this. For some reason, people assume that co-sleeping will result in an emotionally dependent child that never ever leaves their parents bed. But co-sleeping is actually proven to positively promote independence and no child stays in the parents bed by high school. It's an exaggeration. Most kids are out by school age or sooner. Also, allowing the child to go their own bed when s/he is ready makes it much easier on him/her, which makes it easier on the parents. So far, no bad. Just misinformation and exaggerations. Yet this is enough to have moms all over the place warning and scaring other moms of the terrible nightmare of co-sleeping. It makes no sense. The main excuse you hear is that the bed is just for married couples only. But what I don't get is how other people can think they KNOW that all marriages are so vulnerable that a sleeping baby is capable of harming it. Then, where did this bed is only for spouses thing come from anyway? What's logical about specifically banning a harmless family member from SLEEPING with you? I get that not everyone wants to do it. But the misguiding, misinformation, and exaggerations on others need to stop. There's a difference between I didn't co-sleep and co-sleeping is a disaster waiting to happen so no one should be doing it.

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momma...
Aug. 21, 2009 at 9:56 PM

Didn't you hear?  If you don't have them in the crib by 1 year, at the latest, they'll never sleep in their own bed!  But my favorite is "How will you ever give her a little brother or sister if she sleeps with you?"  

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Nicol...
Aug. 21, 2009 at 10:18 PM

I'm not judging- my philosophy for most things parenting-related is "whatever works for your family is what you should do!" I don't agree with the popular notion that co-sleeping creates dependant children and all that, but I did choose no to co-sleep because you hear that it can be dangerous. If you're not using a co-sleeper.

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jus1jess
Aug. 21, 2009 at 10:30 PM

There are safety issues either way. But co-sleeping done properly is plenty safe without a co-sleeper. Most of it's dangers are easily preventable. It's actually been proven safer than crib sleeping. I get that some people are truly worried and that's totally understandable. But it's always those who've never done it who are so quick to call it bad when there's nothing logical proving that.

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Windy...
Aug. 21, 2009 at 10:40 PM

I love, LOVE, loved co-sleeping with my baby. I didn't have a particular age in mind as to when to quit but by nine months he was sleeping so hard that I was barely getting any sleep as he tossed and turned. Many times I would get horse-kicked in the nose by him only to wake up and see him sideways with his feet in my face. It was great while it lasted and there used to be a point where he slept better directly next to me than he did even in his snuggle-nest or arm's reach co-sleeper. Once we got to where neither one of us was getting a good nights sleep I put him in his crib and he did just fine. No problems at all. As a matter of fact putting him in his crib just proved he was using me as an all night buffet. I breastfeed and I didn't mind waking up every two to three hours to nurse him but being able to get five or so consecutive hours of sleep is fabulous! Not to mention the nights that he sleeps 11hours straight! I think co-sleepers get judged by the horror stories of someone passing out and rolling over on their baby. I am a light sleeper and in whatever position I fell asleep in was the same position I woke up in. Had my husband still been alive I would've never have been able to put the baby directly in bed with us because Lee was known to sometimes even roll over on me! But I would've still used the arm's reach co-sleeper, it is so conducive to BFing. I wouldn't have done it any other way.

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rozepyle
Aug. 21, 2009 at 11:21 PM

i love it how if you tell them you STILL have a sex life they are like WHAT? YOUR FREAKING PERVERT HOW DARE YOU HAVE SEX WHILE YOUR CHILD IS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU SICK SICK IM CALLING CPS 

or the ones that think your child will "be a queer" -like thats bad...

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ronis...
Aug. 22, 2009 at 12:41 AM

you rock

 

Serisously, why can't people say "co-sleeping is not for me" and leave it at that?  Co-sleeping works for my family and I get so tired of defending something that is so natural to me.  Parents these days try so hard to be detached from their children.  It's pathetic.

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MSuga...
Aug. 22, 2009 at 8:26 AM

I co-sleep with my grandchildren when they sleep overnight and/or if his mom works late into the morning hours as a bartender.  Sometimes I have two children in bed with me.   Its awesome!  They are not infants and there is no fear of smothering, in fact, they plopped thier bodies on top of MY face in the middle of the night ! 

 

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Salem...
Aug. 22, 2009 at 5:11 PM

I would never co-sleep. Mainly because I toss and turn all night and it would not be safe let alone comfortable. My husband would also turn all night. I'm a light sleeper. So I never worried about not knowing if she needed me. And I do agree it can cause dependency.

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jus1jess
Aug. 22, 2009 at 11:00 PM

Turning doesn't make co-sleeping unsafe. We all move in our sleep. But what makes you think it causes sleep dependency? There is nothing to suggest that. You have never had a dependant co-sleeper. Children ARE dependant on their parents. Sleeping with them doesn't CAUSE that. Not that dependence is a bad thing anyway. It's human nature. 

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Proud...
Aug. 23, 2009 at 12:44 AM

I am against cosleeping (for myself of course, I am not on some sort of mission). But you post says that most people who are against it are people who never coslept. Ah...that is not me. I coslept with my mother...then she died when I was 4. After my aunt took me in, I slept with her...and did so (on and off) until I was around 16. May be it was the death of my mother that made cosleeping an 'issue'. But it is one I choose not to repeat. My son gets a good sleep and so do I. I'll keep things like that.

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