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I'm a Controlling Parent?!?!?!
- Aug 22, 2009 at 1:06 PM
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- Comments (19) Total Views (416) Everyone can see this journal post.
Ok first let me totally stop laughing....
See I own Happy Homeschoolers. No you don't have to be actively homeschooling to join - you have to be interested in learning about homeschooling, or support homeschoolers though....I would think that to be totally obvious, but some people are too stupid for words apparently.
See, last week we had a member basically bash homeschooling - telling us how we're totally screwing up our kids for the future...so I kicked her out of the group - she obviously didn't fit in with the above parameters. So I got this pm -
Works4Mom -
And you got all that because I don't think EVERY mother can home school and I encouraged someone who was unsure if they could home school to THINK about what she was going to do before she did it.
Well then you're right, I'm not right for your group. I was told that your group didn't judge and that I didn't have to home school to join. I see we are only allowed to join if we agree with you and your way of home schooling.
That's fine, I grew up with an over controlling mother, I know how home schooling moms are. I know its hard for you not to control every moment of your childs lives and everything around you. Remember I grew up with this.
It is very sad that you are limiting your children by home schooling them, but like my mother you won’t understand until your children are grown and are failing because you thought putting them in “groups” would give them the same social skills as actual school. I’m living that, you just assume you know what you’re doing. I am the proof and unfortunately your children will also be the evidence. Your ID really tells the entire story.
She made me laugh so hard I almost pee'd myself! Obviously she just want's to spew her negativity because she doesn't like her mom...Awww, I think I have a tear in my eye...
Obviously she's never read a single thing I've ever written. I totally agree homeschooling is NOT for every family. It's hard and takes a certain personality in the parent for it to be successful. But this woman is perpetuating all that the ignorant masses believe in homeschooling and that pisses me off. Sure there are some freaks out there - they shouldn't be homeschooling. Just because I believe having one-on-one attention, and letting my child learn in the way that best suits him - rather than the way the teacher needs to teach - doesn't make me a controlling mom. Or maybe it does? I don't alow my kids to swear, I don't allow my kids to watch r-rated flicks. But my kids are totally secure in who they are - if they were any more sociable they'd be running for office. They are the first to introduce themselves to new children, the first to offer to share their favorite toys. They take Karate, and (even at ages 8 & 5) help out iwth the babies in the gym daycare 3 days a week, while I'm working with my personal training clients. Sure I want to protect them - keep them from peer pressure and self disgust and doubt. But only in certain instances. I think that when they're a little older they'll be so strong internally that no matter the situation they won't doubt themselves as they would in these early informative years.
But really I homeschool because I grew up in the area in which we live, and I suffered a lack of education in the PS system. I thought I was too stupid to learn math and science. I firmly believed this until ...wait for it...I HOMESCHOOLED THROUGH HIGHSCHOOL, then college - where I learned I actually enjoyed the process of learning! And I got degrees in Physics and Geology. I used to be an aeronautical engineer. I don't want my children to waste learning. My 8 y/o is entering 4th grade this year...not because I push him to learn or drag him kicking and screaming to do homework - but because he too enjoys learning. My kids actually cried when we took a vacation and I didn't bring them school work.
And I find the whole "Socialization" arguement laughable. As I stated my children are totally outgoing and outspoken. I find it funny that everyone swears by PS socialization - where kids can only speak when spoken too, and have to sit quietly for hours at a time. The only TRUE socialization in PS is during Lunch and maybe PE. My children are out and about meeting new people of every shape, size, color, and religious background. They learn how to communicate from the adults around them - rather than the loudest, obnoxious kid in class. So, you're right. I don't want my kids to be PS Socialized, where they treat adults with no respect, and think they can learn every thing they need to know in life from their friends. My kids help me teach Sign Language, take Violin & Piano, Karate, Earth Scouts, etc.....so really, how are they controlled by me? All their friends are PS'ed as HS isn't that big in my area, so they aren't prejudiced against PS'ers (unlike many PS'ers obviously are to HS)....
So, Yes. If this makes me a controlling mom, then I'll wear the badge with pride!!
Comments:
I wish parents were more controlling. I've unfortunately only saw one family that is homeschoolers. And they are a bad example. The children do not go anywhere. They are basically little more than servants. And their "education" is laughable. But I do realize that not all homeschoolers and like that. Those that do it and make it work, a big thumbs up to them.
"if they were any more sociable they'd be running for office."
oh oh oh, I love it and it's so true for many homeschooled kids I know!
That is pretty funny. I'm sorry I missed out on the post, but I agree that this woman clearly knows nothing about you if those are the stones she wants to throw. Sigh.
You hit the nail right on the head! As for PS socialization during lunch, not a chance! My kids weren't allowed to make noise during lunch or they had to have "silent" lunches! Is that absurd, or what? And this was sixth and seventh grade! Anyway, I'm with you!!
ITA! I am sorry the woman that had issues with HS had the problems she had. We all have issues with our parents. Her parents just happen to HS.
Woohoo MAMA!!! Great job! She should be ashamed of herself, her underlying issues with her mother have nothing to do with hsing. Rock on kickbuttmama!!
Sounds like the woman was a troll all along, who only joined the group to cause trouble. I mean, why else would she categorize ALL homeschooling parents in the same group by saying things like "I know how controlling homeschooling moms are..." and other such stupid comments, when she had JOINED a homeschooling group? I mean sure I know there are PS'ers in the group and are there to learn, but if she has such negative views of homeschooling in the first place, why did she join if for no other reason than to stir up trouble because her own life is that pathetic and boring??? Her own kids probably went off to Public school this week, and she's a stay at home mom who doesnt even DO anything at home (like cleaning, watching younger children, etc) and instead of being productive is bored out of her mind.....
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love your post. I had someone tell me recently they knew all about homeschoolers, they watched Wife Swap. WTH?
Controlling, yep, that's me. LOL My kids get more freedom than most. They get to make choices as to what they are learning, they can make their own choices on how fast or slow the need to go to learn. They have time to pursue their interests. Schools have rules for everything; what you wear, what you eat, when you can pee, what you can have in your backpack, what time you start, what time you stop, deadlines, tests and more tests.... Now that seems like a more controlling environment to me!
Thanks Ladies!!
I VERY rarely get this kind of thing in person (maybe I'm too scary...LMAO) and this is really the first time I've had such a personal attack on my homeschooling. It's irritating and frustrating. I don't understand why any parent would trust their children to learn what they need to know from a different stranger every year, I don't understand those SAHM's who are THRILLED when school starts and they can get rid of their kids for a while........I know some parents shouldn't homeschool - my mom was one (I homeschooled myself after my parent's divorce).
But I think the saddest thing about Works4Mom is that she's blaming all her life's failures on her mother.....how about taking some responsibility for herself? It's like people who were abused as children who use that as an excuse for bad behavior their whole lives. Take responsibility for yourself...
(and for the record I'm in no way attacking PTSD, I too was abused, but while I know this affects a person's whole life, I firmly believe if you make the decision to overcome then you will!)
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Rock on girlfriend!!! I totally agree with you , and your decision to kick her out of the group. I look on that group as a support system and a place to get encouragement...not a place to go to find doubt. Having her on the list would have been horrendous.
She sounds really immature, and it sounds like because she had a negative experience (If she truly had one), that she wants to make everyone feel bad about their choices....damn...using her standards, one could say public school can really have a negative impact on social skills...so one shouldn't ever public school.
You are a cool lady, doing right by your kids. Don't let anyone tell you anything different!
Arianna
- Arianna
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