Death By Underwire

[ErikaRobin]

Who was the masochist that came up with the idea that our breasts should never suffer the effects of gravity? 

I impatiently await the day when Long and Low is considered fashionable.  I will be super-ready for it and jumping up and down to show my excitement, probably aiding gravity in its quest, but who cares?! 

At last I will be chic! 

 

True, perky breasts have that "fresh out of the box" look to them, but I'm the mom of three breastfed children.  Mine will never be perky again (without major surgery) and Under-wire Alternative bras can only do so much.  

Because my once bodacious ta-tas did find themselves hanging out around the Navel Sector, Flopsy and Dropsy needed a boost in the form of industrial strength hoisting. 

I torture myself daily with bras that will set off metal detectors in the airport.  Inevitably, my Xena the Warrior Princess bras will have a weak spot in the armor fabric that encases the wire, leaving me to risk puncture...left and right.   

 

*sigh* 

 

Thank heavens my breasts are not inflatable. 

 

 

[MythicMMM]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 3:12 PM

It is all the fault of men ;-P

[MemaSu]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 3:17 PM

I gave up unwire for my health...not wanting to be punctured in any life threatening area. Anyone who has nursed their infants should not worry about 'chic'-- do you really want to be Paris Hilton???

[MelanieLouise]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 3:19 PM

Underwires can suck it, IMO.

[Fistandantalus]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 3:23 PM

The Madame President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee horks a rousing Nelson in your general direction.

[babymomma0306]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 3:28 PM

I have been punctured by under wires when the poke through the fabric and they have drawn blood before....OW! Women always want big boobs, they don't realize what problems come with it! LOL

 

[SelaCarsen]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 3:31 PM

A-freaking-men. I hate them, yet I daily subject myself to the very real threat of impalement by boob-hoister. It's a no-win situation, unfortunately.

If I go braless, the pull of gravity actually stresses my shoulders (geez, they're not THAT big!). If I try the wireless type of bra, they squoodge under the bottom edge, creating an unattractive, multi-teat look, in addition to adding a new roll around my middle that's suspiciously higher than what's left of my waistline.

So I jiggle and shake them down into their respective, bullet shaped containers, try to cover up the sharp corners of the wires and go through my day, conscious that every breath I take is moving that underwire closer and closer to danger.

LOL!

[Guinhyvar]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 3:35 PM

Two words- Otto Titsling

[clarewillow]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 3:52 PM

I feel your pain, I have been the victim of under-wire punctures before....though a few years back I got a few under-wire bras from Victoria Secret and they are by far the best bras I have ever purchased!  Well worth the money. The under-wire has never poked through or even frayed the fabric there..now at this point the straps are about done in necessitating a trip to the store very soon. 

[Nehalennia]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 4:06 PM

You should be a Representative. For wome's boobs of course. Not the actual politician Representative that forgets the definition of the word as soon as they become one.

Victoria's Secret does have awesome bras. Before I was unable to wear them, Lane Bryant acually has some really good ones as well who are above the 38 mark. Ones that ARE sexy and don't put you in the boat with great-grandma.

[Guinhyvar]

Aug. 23, 2009 at 4:08 PM

Aug. 23, 2009 at 12:35 PM

Two words- Otto Titsling

"...Inventor and Crout, had nothing to get very worked up about..."