Great Advice for New High School Parents!

[satellitesister]

My son started high school two weeks ago and I discovered that becoming a new high school mom is a lot like giving birth. When I was pregnant, I didn't really want to know all the dirty details about labor just until before delivery. Then, I wanted to know everything. And fast!

I experienced that same sensation after dropping my son off at high school the first day. The minute he walked off to his first class, I realized how much I didn't know about the next fours year! Help! I turned to the Chaos Crew on my blog Chaos Chronicles. And found sound, savvy advice from parents who had been there and done that with varying degrees of success.

I wanted to share their great advice with you about academics, friends, nutrition, and parental involvement, social issues.  So I've compiled a Cliff Notes version for Great Advice for New Parents of High School Students.

Here you go. Enjoy and please, add your own!

 

From Colleen:

 Get a carpool going, so there are more kids in the car than juts your own. You'll hear a whole lot more.  Now that my baby is driving, I miss the stuff I used to hear, and the conversations I sometimes even got to take part in.

Don't even say the word "college" for the entire freshman year. They have so flippin' much college pressure it's ridiculous, and they need a year to just be freshmen.

Don't say anything about homework/grades/etc at least for a while. This is the beginning of them figuring it all out for themselves, and learning to manage it without parent's reminding/bugging/torturing is part of the process.

From Chpdlvr:

Keep your sense of humor.


Keep in mind that this may be the time you want them to screw up, while they are still in your house and you can help them learn from it.

Do whatever you need to do to preserve the relationship.

From Becky:

I've found that if they even get an inkling that you're at all "judging" them or their friends and what they're doing, you're done. They don't like that at all. So think really hard before you speak. I usually want to just open my mouth and let my opinion fly, but really it has turned out to be very unwise.LOL

From Cran:

Just because he's one more step on the path to grown-up doesn't mean he won't appreciate a fridge full of healthy snacks....Even if being with friends is all about soda and French fries, mine still enjoy the fresh fruit and yogurt and cheese options, hard-boiled eggs.

The car is the best place for "talks" because there's not much eye contact: you're watching the road! This just takes a little awkwardness out of the equation.

From Mari:

ALWAYS follow your gut! Every time I thought there was a problem there was one... every time!

Be kind but do not pay much attention to girlfriends - he will have many more before he marries.

From HoyaMom:

Leave your clock, calendar, and wallet at the front door of the school; you've now lost all control over them.

Step aside and have faith in the teachers; they will become wonderful mentors and advisors.

From Cyndi:

Pardon me for sounding crude, but, "Don't get up their butt about every little thing". I wish someone had told me that.

Laugh, especially WITH them. Life is funny.

At the risk of sounding like one of "those" parents, make sure your son takes a challenging curriculum because senior year is too late to start.

Have a "place" for downtime - kids really just want to hang out with their friends. This is so important to them so have a place to be apart from parents and be a little free.

From Sandy:

Parents really have to be clear about what their non-negotiable rules and expectations will be, and what the consequences will be.

A debriefing at least once a week is really important. With Gaby, our adopted daughter, we debriefed once a day for quite a long time. She didn't know it was debriefing. She just thought we were having cherry cokes and French fries at Coco's. (It was a very fattening time for me)

Thanks, Chaos Crew. You've helped me already. It is killing me not to big him about homework, but I think I'm doing an okay job so far!

More advice? Add it here.

Lian