Sometimes he makes me so mad!

[TYLERSMOM2000]

Bob calls home usually every night and just says I love you, when I answer the phone instead of saying hello I say  "I love you", this way we can at least  hear each others voice.  The charges to accept the calls are high, so we only talk once a week.  When he called the other night, he made a comment that  I had sounded happy when I said I love you the night before.  WTH!   I asked him what he meant by that and got this whole song and dance.  He sounded pissed that I sounded happy.  Happy is not a word I can describe for my life right now, 9 year old struggling with school, bancruptcy proceedings, dealing with the house, the bills, worrying about losing my home.  Everything I should be going through with him.....but because his dumb ass got put in jail, my life sucks.  In my letters I always tell him how much I love him, and need him.   He made a comment about that as well.  That he can't do anything about that......That I need him!   I asked him if it would make him happier if I said F... You I don't need you.  I don't know what he expects me to be like.  He's lucky we are even still here for him,  sometimes he doesn't think about how this has affected Tyler and I.  How my son has to due without alot of things, because of his actions in life.  I'm just so pissed off at his reactions to everything, if he was here.......I'd probably hit him over the head with a frying pan. My son needs a male in his life and he doesn't have that.  I need a partner in my life, and I don't have that.  Instead I get  to send letters and pictures to the correctional center so he can feel a part of things.  He's only been gone three months and I don't know how I'm going to get through the next 12 without him.  Somedays I just cry, somenights I don't sleep, I just cry for the life we had.  Somedays I just don't know............................!  I feel as if my life is unraveling, and I can't stop it!  Somedays I feel as if I'm failing my son, that he deserves so much more than I can give him right now!   But I have to be strong for everyone, I can't just go and breakdown, although I wish I could.  Venting helps some, but the long nights are the worst.  I think I will go buy that frying pan soon, cast iron, really really heavy, because when he does come home.......one step out of line..........................WHACK ON THE TOP OF HIS  FAT BALD HEAD!!

 

 

 

 

[kim121672]

Aug. 30, 2009 at 3:25 AM

I'm so sorry you are going through this!  I have been there, my hubby was in jail for 4 months when I was pregnant with my son, it just sucks all the way around.  Hang in there, I hope things get much better you and Tyler.  I hear ya on the frying pan, LOL, I would do the same thing!

[kylesmom2007]

Dec. 28, 2009 at 2:39 PM

I had no idea!!!!!  WOW! I'm so sorry!!!