I need psychiatric evaluation!!!

[nEwMoMmY041408]

I don't understand it, but i'm going to go with it.  I cannot stand my baby's father, and yes i am no longer referring to IT as my husband....But i LOOOOOVE my little aubrey so much!!!  I cannot believe she is a part of him...she must have gotten all good genes from him.  I know she is still in my womb, and you may be wondering how do i know what she is like....or maybe you understand where i'm coming from.  I know haven't met her, but i KNOW this little angel growing inside of me is the most precious person that will ever walk this earth.  there's no way she will ever treat someone like he did me and others.  i believe more in nurture than nature....i don't believe you just inherit a bad attitude...you develop it in life.  its all in how you take the blows thrown at you.  And I KNOW that i will teach her to handle anything with strength and dignity and to ALWAYS have respect...even if she has been disrespected.  Thats the way I am...even though i haven't felt very strong or dignified, i still had my respect for him even after he did what he did.  i didn't call names, i didn't say i hate you.  i just called a few minutes ago and left a voicemail saying....I do not need him to give me an excuse for why he hadn't call, it didn't matter.  i'm not in love with you, and i will never be able to trust you.  i just hope that we are able to work something out so that at least aubrey is happy.  i hope you have a good life!  respectful, dignified, and i was strong....HA!  maybe i'm getting a little bit of me back in pieces....though i still feel like rubbish b/c i even have to go through this.  I haven't yet asked why God put this on me....but i would like to know....why did He put this on my aubrey?  She doesn't even know life yet, and all too soon she will have to learn some very devastating lessons....lessons i didnt learn until my late teens.  some people are untrustworthy.  sometimes the ones we love the most will betray us in the most awful we can imagine.  At least she will be wise, hopefully wise enough to not make my mistakes.  I pray that i am able to inform her of my mistakes without pestering.  i know my mom always tried to tell what was best and i NEVER listened...now look at me.  its not that i don't want her to make her own mistakes....just not the same ones i did....i hope she never has to feel her baby kick and have no one to share it with.  b/c that is the MOST INCREDIBLE feeling i have ever felt.  hugging her will be the only thing to ever surpass that feeling....and hearing her say, "I love you, Mommy!"  Oh, i can't wait.....these are the joys i look forward to. 

[mytravel732]

Nov. 7, 2009 at 10:08 AM

Even though you posted negative comments on my journal and they upset many Woman in abusive situations we forgive you. We pray the netativty you speak out on to others does not come back to you.

You are in your own abusive situation and you need our support, we have to come together for each other, that is why I posted it in the first place.  If you think you need help go get it, speak to someone get what you need to carry you thought.

We will always be here for your support!