Middle Child Blues

[JoyeAustin]

I love Sara and Rosie's preschool/daycare, the Lil Pumpkin Patch. It's as cute as its name. Sara goes to preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays and her little class has five other students and lasts two and a half hours.

Well today I picked her up and her daily report card was not so inspiring. I spoke with her teachers about what a difficult year she's had, with many hard and confusing changes, and well you know, she just turned THREE.

We see a lot of naughty behavior, lots of screaming and whining and pouting and hitting and all that fun stuff. Apparently, so do they.

Today, we worked on:

Used my nice/hands/nice words: not always

Helped my friends clean up: no

Sat nicely and used my nice manners at snacktime: partly

Used my listening ears at circle time: no :(  (Yes, a frowny face!)

Joined the game, song, music, story movement at circle: no

Followed my teacher's directions: not often

Notes: We are learning about our rules and how to treat our friends and teachers nicely.

So on the ride home, I tried to talk this over with Sara. "How do you think you did at preschool today?" I asked her.

"Um," she said, "not good."

"Why? Don't you like preschool?"

She shook her head with a scowl.

"Why don't you like it?"

"Because I don't," she said, with her usual Sara logic.

I thought she would love it! I see now that I have underestimated the effects on my sweet little girl of my separation from her father. Her teachers and I are hoping that she'll be happier as she adjusts to her new routine and social interaction. She emulates the naughty behavior she sees in her big brother and is competeing with her baby sister. She misses her daddy. She's three. Life is hard when you're Sara.

Ah, mommy guilt. Feels so good. Bleck. 

[wendy46121]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 2:25 PM

Joye, dont feel guilty, because you are such a great mommy doing the absolute best anyone can with what you have!!! She is three, and a lot of three year old will rebel, and challenge authority, thats just a normal phase, and people, even tiny people, have bad days. 

The best you can do is give her lots of love and hugs (which Im sure you already do!) while reminding her about how to be good in daycare! 

[Gaia_Rain]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 2:32 PM

Give her hugs, Joye.  Lots and lots of Hugs.

[mars33me]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 2:34 PM

*hugs to Joye & Sara*

 

[Pishyah]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 2:53 PM

Poor things!  (I mean all of you and the kids, though this post is really about Sara.)  Hugs to all of you!

[RanaAurora]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 4:46 PM

Poor Sara.  She does have a lot going on for her, but the fact that you're aware of that and in contact with her teacher is the best way she's going to get better and deal with it.  *hugs*

[sapient]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 4:47 PM

((((Hugs to Joye and Sara))))

Poor baby

[parrishsky]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 5:17 PM

My middle son doesn't act out so much but is highly active and the "noise" of our home.... I understand middle child syndrome and feel for them.

Your Sara, even at age 3 has had a great deal for her little mind to deal with. Girls are moody and that may never change but hopefully she'll find it easier to get along and participate then pout. No one likes to get frownie faces on their report cards.

[ToddlerBrain82]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 8:50 PM

Poor Sara, and Poor Joye :(

Big hugs to you both.

[evwsquared]

Sep. 11, 2009 at 1:09 AM

Hugs and kisses to Sara. I wish that we could get her, AM's Abi, and Eleanor together to play. I bet that she'll end up loving preschool.

[jsbenkert]

Sep. 11, 2009 at 10:19 AM

If being the middle child is the problem, offer to get rid of her older brother or younger sister.  Let her choose which one.  Just kidding.  I think I'd get a big "frowny face" on my report card if offering good advice was one of the subjects.

I think you have some rough times ahead, as you all adjust to your new circumstances.  I think back to when Genevieve was going through the "terrible threes" (some kids like to surprise us-we expect the twos to be terrible, so they wait a year).  I learned that I needed to be more firm with her, and not let her get away with those bad behaviors.  I also learned that sometimes she just needed to a great big hug, especially when those behaviors stemmed from discovering that she would have to share the spotlight with her new baby sister.

I hope things start to go more smoothly for all of you soon.  In the meantime, hang in there (like you have a choice, right?).  Repeat this mantra several times a day:  This, too, shall pass.  This, too, shall pass.