Deep thoughts from a shallow mind...

[PrincessZ20]

Sometimes, I wonder how things could have gone differently in my life.  Every decision, no matter how minor, has led my life down the path it's taken.  Just one tiny little thing could have made things today so much different!

I wonder how things might have been different if I had gone out with that one guy, if I hadn't dated that other guy....or if I had married one of those two certain ex-boyfriends (coincidentally enough, they had the same last name).  If I had partied more and studied less in high school.  If I had studied more and partied less in college.  If I had been more ambitious with my extra-curricular activities.  If I had studied abroad.  If I'd stayed friends with some rather than drifted apart.  If I'd drifted apart from other friends rather than stayed close.  If I'd made other friends completely.  If I'd played sports or been a cheerleader.  If I'd studied something different.  And of course, if I hadn't moved to SC.  If, if, if, if, if.  There are an infinite number of life changing ifs out there. 

Thanks to the wonders of the internet, I'm able to stay in touch with friends from middle school, high school, college, work, and so on (fine, fine, it's more like "stalking them on facebook"...semantics!)  I like to look at what these friends are doing these days.  We were all once in the same place, but are now in such drastically different places!  Some are already married with kids, others are just now getting married, some are just now having children, some are divorced, some are single.  Some are traveling the world without any commitments.  Some are still living where they were when I knew them, others have crossed the country...or even the globe!  Some have amazing careers they adore, some have jobs to pay the bills, some do volunteer work, others don't work at all for various reasons. Some still run in the same circle of friends as they did back then, others have moved on and don't seem to be in touch with others (I fall into this category!) anymore. 

Sometimes, I look at many of them and am a little jealous.  I wish I were doing something exciting and adventurous like being a part of the Peace Corps.  I wish that each time I updated my status on facebook it was to say what new and exotic place I was at.  I wish I had a glamorous career where I got excited about going to work each morning.  I wish I were still in that amazing honeymoon phase of my relationship.  And yes, sometimes, I even wish I had no commitments, kids, pets, etc. 

But then I look at everything I DO have.  I have an amazing husband (who I wouldn't have met if it weren't for some of those decisions I made), an awesome son and another bundle of joy on the way (who I wouldn't have if it weren't for the aforementioned amazing husband), I have a great house, lovely pets, incredible friends, and Old Navy flip flops in every color I could ever want.  With just one different decision, I might not have any of that.  I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and just have to trust that it keeps going that way! 

My life may not be what I had hoped and dreamed it would be when I was a little girl, 15 years ago, 10 years ago, or even 5 years ago.  It may not be glamorous, and it may not be exciting, but it's a pretty darn good life, and I wouldn't trade any of it.  Well, on most days anyway :) 

[Kodeekins]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 9:15 PM

Love this post, girl! I'm glad I met you! You'd be surprised how much that playgroup you set up on here has impacted the person I am today - I run my own playgroup now! :-D It's introduced me to so many wonderful women. And I thank you for making that one little decision to start your group, and play such an important part of so many lifes.

[PrincessZ20]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 9:26 PM

I wish I could take credit, but I didn't start the group, I just took it over when Lisa wasn't able to run it anymore :)  But I'm so glad it's played such a positive role in your life - it's definitely done the same for me!  And it's so nice to hear that you've got a playgroup out there, the right group of people makes such a world of difference, doesn't it?

(Original Poster)

[Kodeekins]

Sep. 10, 2009 at 10:04 PM

Well, either way you did a FANTABULOUS job keeping up the group! ^_^

And yes, the right set of friends makes the world a better place!